


What Kind of Person Are You?

by hlsolo525



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Happy Ending, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:34:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 43,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hlsolo525/pseuds/hlsolo525
Summary: Tobin and Christen first met 5 years ago. Tobin was a professional soccer player who was trying to make a name for herself. Christen was home for a little break before finishing up her residency. It's crazy how a person could just turn your world upside down in a few seconds.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 94
Kudos: 346





	1. Drunk in love

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, I'm new and I also don't know how this happened but it did and is still happening. So here goes nothing. Cheers!

“Good work today Tobin. Have a good weekend. See you next week!”

“Thanks Mark. You too.” - Tobin says as she is leaving the trainer room. 

It’s already pitch black when Tobin exits the Sky Blue building to the players' parking lot.

The drive is about 20 minutes. It gives Tobin some time to collect her thoughts. As she is turning to the driveway that leads to her parents’ house at the end of the road, she is getting some weird sensation in her stomach. She has to go past that house, **her** house.

She suddenly wants to run, finds a different way to get home as long as she doesn’t have to go past that house. Until yesterday, this driveway is her favorite road, filled with her childhood memories. Now it’s because of one person, she never wants to drive on this road again. She knows it’s dramatic. Not sure why Tobin feels like that when she thinks about that person since she literally just met her yesterday.

-FLASHBACK-

_The Press family had moved to the neighborhood couple years ago. Tobin knows Dr. Press has 3 daughters. The middle one is around her age and the only one who follows his career. He is one of the best doctors in town. It’s not easy to get an appointment with him. She is trying to schedule for her dad to go see Mr. Press, hopefully he will get better._

_One morning, she was walking her dog down the driveway. She found herself stopping at the alley right across from the Press’ house, wondering if she should go and ask him instead of going to his office and getting asked to call back another time. As Juno was finishing his “business”, he basically dragged Tobin out of her thoughts. Just as she started walking, she heard noises coming out of the garage._

_“Christen, come on. The farmers’ market is gonna be closed by the time we get there.” - Tyler said. Tyler is Dr. Press’ oldest daughter. Tobin and her sometimes made small talk when they ran into each other._

_“Urg, give me one sec. I haven’t finished my breakfast. Why can’t we just go to the supermarket anyway?” - Christen yelled back._

_Christen, who is all about routine, was being dragged out of the house early morning to go grocery shopping for a family gathering tonight. She has never been a fan of family gatherings on random occasions. She thinks seeing everyone once or twice a year during Thanksgiving or Christmas is quite enough. This is also why she has been living alone in NYC. If it wasn’t because she had so many PTOs and her parents getting quite unhappy that she had not been home for 6 months, she might have actually bailed._

_She was wearing a plain t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans with some Nike sneakers today. Just wanted to at least feel comfortable at this upcoming uncomfortable event tonight. Christen was giving her sister the finger as she walked to the car._

_Ever since her last relationship with Shirley, Tobin promised herself she has to focus on her career and does not need any more distraction. Plus, it seems like none of the girls she has met is special enough for her to have second thoughts. But today, Christen Press might have changed everything. Her body experienced something different as Christen walked out of the house that day._

-END FLASHBACK-

As Tobin is slowly driving by, she spots Christen leaning against her balcony’s railing, her curly hair is on one side of her shoulders, singing something. She should be driving faster than this to get home, not coasting with the window down. Perry told her after her walk yesterday morning that she looked drunk. Maybe she was. Is. Drunk in love.

Tobin gets home when the family has just finished dinner. She had moved back from her downtown apartment to her parents’ ever since her dad got sick. 

“Late night Tobs? Leftovers are in the fridge.” - Tobin’s Mom, Cindy, says while cleaning the dinner table.

“Hi mom. Thank you. I’m gonna go shower first. Dad asleep?” - Tobin gives her mom a side hug.

“Yeah. He was watching TV but probably already fell asleep.”

As her nightly routine, Tobin approaches her parents’ bedroom to see her dad. Ever since her dad got paralyzed from a stroke, his moods have been changing everyday. He refuses to stay in the hospital so they have decided to convert the bedroom into some sort of hospital room for him. Tobin, who has some knowledge of physical therapy from all her soccer injuries, has been helping her dad with the exercises. 

“Yo Tobs, have you gotten an appointment scheduled for Dad at Dr. Press’ yet?” - Perry, who is sitting in the living, asks.

“Nope. They keep asking me to call back later. I was considering going to his house to ask honestly.” - Tobin yawns and stretches her body.

“I heard they were having some kind of family reunion. All his daughters are back. Even the middle one. Have you seen her around?”

Tobin’s knees suddenly go weak. “Uh...yeah i saw her yesterday.” - Wonder if she is already in bed. 

\----

“Good morning everyone.” - Christen says as she is walking downstairs.

“Morning Chris. Come sit.” - Her dad says.

“So have you gotten any plans yet? Your residency is ending at the end of the year right? The offer is still on the table.” - Her dad continues.

Truthfully, Christen has not given it a lot of thoughts. Work has been quite stressful. Her dad has offered her a position at his practice. He hasn’t put much pressure on her either but still makes sure she remembers every once in a while. It is not a bad offer but part of her keeps saying it isn’t time yet.

Christen responds : “I am still thinking. I will get back to you when I have a decision.”

Tobin has woken up since 6am. Today is rest day since her club, Sky Blue, has a game in a couple days. She decides to go get a coffee at her favorite local cafe. It seems like everyone is in the same mood on this Saturday, there are already 5, 6 people waiting to order. Tobin does not mind waiting. She got nowhere to go after all. After saying hi to the owner, she looks around for an empty table. She immediately spots someone, who has been on her mind for a couple of days. Her heart skips a beat, eyes widen. Tobin freezes. Her tan skin, curly hair, that figure - _'it’s gotta be her.'_

“Excuse me.” - Tobin realizes she is other people’s way and quickly steps aside. She decides there is no need to find a place to sit. Tobin just awkwardly stands in front of the cake fridge and tries really hard not to shift her eyes towards Christen again. Luckily, Christen has been focusing on her computer and does not realize what is going on. Today, she is wearing a black dress, part of her hair is tied in a ponytail leaving the rest fall on her shoulders. 

“What?” - Ashlyn, the owner, smirks as she is looking at Tobin, who is distracted by her own thoughts.

“Nothing.” Tobin says quickly but does not realize she sounds super offended as if someone has just caught her doing something bad. She starts whistling and looking around, pretending like she does not have a care in the world. It seems like Christen is on the phone.

“ Are you done?” - A warm feeling rushes through Tobin's body as she listens to Christen’s voice.

“Remember that place we went to last Christmast to get grandma a gift? The cafe is near that place. Do you want me to order you anything?...Alright, bye.”

“Can I get a Cappuccino take away please?” - Christen smiles at the waitress.

Tobin turns around, refocuses herself on the menu. First of all, she doesn't want Christen to think there is a creep watching her. Second, she is afraid she might not be able to stop herself from staring. This is the first time she sees Christen’s face up close. It’s not night time like the last time and Tobin is definitely not moving. She stands close enough to absorb this girl’s beauty. Tobin is so deep in her thoughts that she has not realized two other girls have joined her at the table. 

“Yo, are you done staring? Your coffee is getting cold.” - Ashlyn teases and signals for Tobin to come closer.

“She is our VIP” - Ashley whispers.

Tobin chokes on her coffee. “Who?” Pretending like she does not know who Ashlyn is talking about.

“Pressy. Dr. Press’ daughter. Always comes here when she is in town” 

“Pressy?” - Tobin responds. She is surprised that Ashlyn knows her.

“Please leave. Your face is a tomato.” - Ashlyn starts laughing.

Tobin rolls her eyes and takes a last glance at the table. 


	2. How are you so perfect?

“ I’m gonna go get some stuff from the baking aisle.” - Tyler says.

“Okay. I’ll be around here.” - Christen says without looking up.

Being home is fun sometimes. Especially she gets to see her sisters, doing normal sister things. But would she want to be back here full time? Maybe in the future but is now a good time? She still wants to go see the world and maybe work somewhere overseas to gain some experience.

“Oh hi Mrs. Heath, how are you?” - Tyler smiles as she runs into her parents’ neighbor. 

“Tyler! It’s been a while. How have you been?” - Cindy smiles back.

“I’m good. How’s Jeff doing?” - Tyler responds. She has heard from her parents that Cindy’s husband has been struggling recently.

Cindy gives a sad smile and tells Tyler some details about her husband’s health. “ We are trying to schedule an appointment with your dad soon.”

“I’m so sorry. I will definitely talk to my dad about it and maybe he can drop by at some point if that’s OK with you. Actually, hang on.” - Tyler takes a few steps out of the aisle and signals for Christen to come over.

“You know Christen? She is finishing up her residency in the city. Even if my dad can’t, I’m sure she can help out.” - Tyler introduces her sister to Cindy. Tyler repeats what Cindy has said to her sister. 

Christen smiles and says “Yes. I am more than happy to help. I can come by this weekend if that’s OK with you.”

“Yes. That would be great. Thank you so much!” 

  
\---

“Hi Christen and Tyler, come on in. Thank you so much for coming. I know you are probably trying to take a break from your job. We really appreciate it.” - Cindy says as she opens the door to let the girls in.

“It’s no problem, Mrs. Heath. We are sorry that you have not been to book an appointment at the office. My dad said he’d have his office give you a call asap.” 

Cindy leads the girls to the kitchen. “That sounds great! Please call me Cindy. Can I get you guys anything to drink?” 

“We are alright. Thank you.” - Christen smiles.

“Mom, I’m...back.” - Tobin appears in the kitchen. She freezes. ' _Why is she here?'_ Sitting in her parents’ kitchen. 

“Something happened?” - She asks. Something is weird happening inside her body. _‘ Did she come looking for….crazy...who the hell do you think you are?’_ or _‘did she just come to say hi…’_ She is still standing there staring at the people who are staring at her. 

Cindy comes out from her bedroom. “Oh good you are back Tobs. Christen is here to see Dad.” ‘ _Ohhhh..right...Christen is a doctor...her dad..right...her dad is sick.’_ Refocusing her thoughts, Tobin puts all her things on the counter. “Did something happen to Dad? Is he ok?”

Ever since the stroke, his health changes everyday. One day it’s normal, the next he has a fever. 

“No no...I’m just getting ready in there so the girls can come in.” - Cindy gives Tobin a relaxing smile.

Tobin quickly glances over where the sisters are sitting _‘her...isn’t she still in school? Or what do they call it...doctor in training?’_

“Hi Tobin, don’t worry. Christen is finishing up her residency very soon. She got quite a lot of experience.” - Tobin surprises when Tyler starts talking. Truthfully, she is just feeling a little sad for herself ‘ _she is a doctor...what about you? Just a soccer player, hoping to make the national team….one day’_ Meanwhile, Christen does not seem too thrilled with Tobin’s questioning expression. She focuses herself on her phone, she is only here to help a person with a health problem. Personal feelings in this profession are not allowed. However, she cannot help but feel annoyed with this girl. She quickly realizes Tobin was the girl who stood in front of her house with a dog that one morning.

“Tobin, what are you doing? Get changed.” - Cindy rushes, not very pleased with her attitude.

Tobin signs, maybe she misunderstood. Maybe because she is just so shocked, not that she is questioning Christen’s ability. And also she is sitting right there, in front of Tobin. How is she supposed to pull herself together? Tobin tries to avoid Christen as she is walking around the kitchen to go to her room. She just comes back from training, certainly does not want Christen to smell her sweat. She is self conscious...well because Christen smells really good. Whatever perfume she is using, sweet and light. Tobin feels like this girl is like a cup of tea, not too strong, but leaves enough taste in your mouth, special makes you feel warm. She loves that smell so much but at the same time she will probably never get to drink that cup of tea.

Christen and Tyler are taken to two chairs at the end of the bed. It takes a while to wake him up. Cindy tells the girls Tobin will be in shortly then exits the room to run some errands. After a few minutes, Tobin comes in after changing out of her workout clothes. 

“Does your dad usually nap around this time? It’s quite early.” - Tyler starts the conversation.

“No, that’s just how he is. He sleeps during the day then won’t go to sleep at night.” - Tobin answers, feeling a little more comfortable with Tyler initiating the talk.

“So he’s been sleeping since the morning?” - Tyler curiously asks. Christen finally stops playing on her phone and pays attention to the conversation, her eyes are observing the man on the bed.

“Yean. From morning to like 4, 5pm. He then wakes up. Sometimes he’ll sleep a little during the night. Otherwise he’ll just be wide awake.” She pauses and then continues “I’ll wake him up. Otherwise you guys will be here all day. Is that OK?.” Not sure why she asks. Maybe she wants to hear Christen’s response.

“Yes please. I got a few questions for him.” - Christen speaks, shifts her attention from Jeff to Tobin, who is sitting on the edge of the bed. ‘ _It’s so hot why is she sweating?’_

“Yeah...okay…..Dad..wake up..dad” - Tobin feels like she can barely breath when Christen directly talks to her. She thinks Christen will probably never speak to her so when she does, Tobin does not know how to handle it. Also, where is the friendly, infectious smile and the sweet voice she heard in the cafe? She is cold.

Normally, Tobin would be hugging her dad, whispering random things or tickling him to wake him up, but that would be really weird in front of the guests. Though they seem interested to see what Tobin is going to do to wake him.

Running out of options, Tobin grabs a mask from the night stand and goes to the closet to pull out a white coat. She stands close to the bed, knowing she is being watched by the sisters, but there is no other option, so she clears her throat and tries to imitate a voice of one of the nurses in the hospital - “Mr Heath….wake up so I can take your blood pressure.”

Tobin is about to repeat when her dad starts opening his eyes. Her dad is like a kid. He is scared of doctors and strangers. He might not respond to the people in the family but when people he doesn’t know ask, he will nod and smile. Tobin knows the girls are laughing behind her, Christen has been laughing since Tobin puts on the coat. She probably knew what Tobin intended to do. Her sister is worse, her face is red like a tomato.

Tobin uses a small towel to clean her dad’s face - “Don’t be mad. There is a doctor here for real.” - She says and points towards Christen and her sister. “See, I didn't lie. I’ll get you some water. Let the doctor take a look. They have been waiting.”

He nods. He has not been able to talk much. When Tobin gets back in with a glass of water, she sees Christen standing next to the bed. 

“Hi Mr. Heath. I’m Christen, Cody Press’ daughter. How are you feeling?” - She gives him a smile. Tobin does not stand too close but close enough so her dad can see her. How is she so perfect? Tobin cannot focus any more. She looks like an angel from where Tobin is standing. Christen slowly bends down and listens carefully to a few words her dad can let out. Then she smiles. Tobin thinks she might die. The smile, the eyes, the smell, and the name. She might be going crazy.

“Can you raise your hand Mr Heath?” - She points at the hand on the paralyzed side. Jeff tries to lift it up but can only manage for a few seconds.

“How about the leg?” - She keeps asking and her dad keeps doing. And Tobin keeps staring at her beauty. She doesn’t know if it’s right or wrong letting herself appreciate the girl in front of her like this. It’s been like 2 days.

“Can I see his wound on the leg?” - Christen turns around towards Tobin, stopping whatever she is thinking about. 

Tobin walks close to the end of the bed and pulls his pants up slowly then steps back.

“How long has it been?”

“About a week. It’s from a mosquito bite then he keeps scratching.”

“Is he diabetic? That could be the reason why it hasn’t healed yet.”

“Yeah.”

“Please be careful with the wound. If it’s not taken care of properly, it can be deadly.

And just like that, Christen asks and Tobin answers. She seems so professional and focused.

“I’d avoid long pants if possible. Make sure he gets some sun everyday too. Do you have a blood pressure monitor here?”

Tobin nods and turns to a small desk near her. 

“Normal blood pressure. Make sure you check it regularly. No salty food.”

“Yeah he doesn’t like salty food anyway.”

“Not too bland either. Have a good balance.”

“Got it. Thank you.”

“No problem at all. My dad will have someone contact your mom to get him in. We are good to go Tyler.” - She turns to her dad and says goodbye but does not bother to look at Tobin again.

Tobin follows right behind the sisters. It gives her a good look at Christen from behind. She looks like she is messaging someone on her phone.

“Oh hey…” - Christen suddenly turns around. Damn it, she got caught again.

“Y..e.a.h..?” 

“How long has your dad been sleeping like that? Since the stroke or it’s just his habit?” - She asks, totally ignoring Tobin’s attitude.

“Since he got sick. When he was healthy, he never slept during the day. Never really took a nap.”

“I see.” - Then she keeps walking.

As they are exiting the door, Cindy arrives home from her errands. “All done? Thank you so much for your time. We really appreciate it!.” The Press family is such good people.

“It’s no problem at all. The wound needs to be taken care of more.” - Christen politely responds. 

Tyler tells Christen to go home first since she has a few things to ask Tobin about the tournament coming up. Tyler does play for a local club in the area and is a fan of professional soccer, especially her hometown club Sky Blue.

“So… you and my sister are the same age..” - Tyler speaks as they are standing in front of Tobin’s house watching Christen walking towards the Press residence.

They are now walking down the driveway because Tobin has to take the dog out. While walking, Tyler shares a few more information about her younger sister.

“Alright. Enough with the thank yous. You know what you can do for me? Get me some tickets to the tournament.” - They are approaching the Press’ house and Tyler suggests.

“That won’t be a problem. I’ll get you tickets to this upcoming match and then some for the tournament in NYC.” - Tobin says with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. 
> 
> Little bit about me: I'm a tennis coach, living in NZ :) Got some free time on my hands. Let me know what you think!


	3. Lover

Stepping out of the bathroom, Christen heads towards her desk and checks her laptop. She doesn't even bother turning on the light. The dim light from her nightstand lamp, the shiny moon tonight and her computer make her room seem quiet and calming. 

“Not even on yet. Always late for whatever reason.” - Christen says to herself with annoyance.

She turns on some music from her Spotify while waiting for this annoying person to call her. It’s their weekly routine since college days. When they graduated college and went separate ways, they had promised each other to FaceTime at least once a week. She knows many people would not be able to keep that promise because sometimes life gets in the way but somehow...they are still doing it. Maybe it’s a special bond. It’s Sunday night anyway. That person cannot be going out now. Tomorrow is Monday. 

“About time. What took you so long?” - Christen complains but is happy inside to finally get to see that person.

“Just finished dinner. I thought we would get the hang of the 3 hour difference by now.” That person rolls their eyes. After Stanford, Christen went to NYC to do her residency while this person stayed back on the west coast. If it wasn’t for their chemistry, she would not take some time out of her life to do this every single week, especially with both of their work schedules.

“It’s almost midnight over here already. Late dinner?” - Christen asks.

“Not everyone has so many PTOs that they get to take a break from work Dr. Press.” 

“Your instagram doesn’t show that you are working too much though. I miss you.” - Christen pouts.

“I miss you too. How is home?” 

“It’s fine. I guess it’s nice to get away from the city sometimes.” - Christen signs.

They talk about everything and anything. Even though they have not seen each other for a long time, they always make sure to tell each other about everything, even the smallest details.

“She’s definitely into you. Well and I thought you were coming back to me.” 

“You are insane. Never said I liked her. Don’t be jealous sweetie.” - Christen laughs

“Whatever. Details please!” 

“She is weird. I feel like I’m being stared at most of the time when she is around…….I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“Like a pervert? I mean have you seen you?”

“No not like that. But like with a desire? But I also feel like there are other feelings too. I mean if she was making any moves, it would be easy for me to deal with. But she just freezes and stares.”

“What do you see in her gaze?

“Like respect, admiration, desire, but then also hopelessness…”

“Interesting. How do you feel about that then?”

“Well that’s on her. I don’t really care. Tyler has been talking to her a lot lately because she plays for Sky Blue and Tyler is crazy about her soccer. Not sure how I feel about it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I feel like soccer players are players.”

“And don’t tell me you don’t like your sister talking to her because of that? She can make her own decisions.”

“Urg. I hope you are right. I guess it’s not like I’m gonna be here forever.”

“Listen. It seems like Tyler is a fan of soccer and your biggest fan happens to be a soccer player. Just have fun. Enjoy your time there. And we better be seeing each other soon.”

\---

“We usually play for about 30 minutes. The team that loses will pay for the field that day.” - Tyler just recently invited Tobin to her pick up games. Tobin was very interested. She thought she could definitely get some more practice in with the free time from the club.

“Hey where are you going? - Christen follows Tyler as she is exiting the house.

“Pick up game. Why?” - Tyler responds. 

Christen immediately spots Tobin who is already standing in front of their house waiting for Tyler. She suddenly feels annoyed. 

Tyler smirks at the scene in front of her. - “You bored? Wanna come? Don’t you miss soccer sometimes?”....”Hi Tobs” - and waves at Tobin as she is approaching them.

“Urg...I am bored but I am also not in the mood to socialize” - Christen rolls her eyes and totally ignores Tobin’s presence.

“Just come with us….or call your lover.” 

Not sure why but Christen suddenly glances over at Tobin. She might be wrong but it seems like there is a change in her eyes, they look sad. Did Tyler’s comment affect her? It’s like she is hurt? It’s hard to know.

“Already did last night till 2am.” - Christen yawns.

“Oh wow. That’s why you were up so late this morning?” - Tyler teases.

“Yeah yeah. Whatever. Have fun.” 

\---

“You good? You seem distracted.” - Tyler asks, Tobin seems like she left her soul somewhere.

“Yeah. Just a little tired.” - Tobin says with a half smile. Honestly she doesn’t even understand herself right now.

“You’ve been great. Wanna come over for a drink?” 

“Hmmm I’ll pass. I got something to do after. Thank you though” - Tobin politely rejects.

The ride home is super quiet. Tobin is deep in her thoughts. She needs space.  Why is she feeling like this? After all that happened with Shirley, she felt like she finally got her emotions under control. Maybe it’s just a crush but why is she feeling many things she never felt before? She is about to lose it. She keeps wanting to see her. But like for what? She just freezes in her presence. Maybe she should just get her shit together and go talk to her. 

_“Talk to her? LOL. You can’t even move when you see her.”_ \- Tobin thinks to herself.

She notices that she has been having dreams about Christen lately. All kinds of dreams. Ever since she met Christen, Tobin’s life is overwhelmed with unfamiliar feelings and thoughts. She was never like this, not even with Shirley. She never sat alone in her room and started smiling to herself when she thought about a girl. Never dreamt about a girl. Never in her life that she wants someone as bad as she wants Christen. She feels annoyed and disgusted with herself. 

Every time they meet, Christen brings a new kind of feeling to her. They say “Opportunity never knocks twice.” but with her, every time she sees this girl, it’s new and overwhelming. Sometimes she is just so pretty. Sometimes she is cold but sexy but then comes the infectious smile. Then sometimes she is so cute, everytime she wrinkles her nose, pouts when talking to someone. It makes Tobin’s heart beat a little fast. 

_ “Call your lover” _

Tyler’s voice is still in her head, she gives herself a sad smile. Maybe there would be a chance for them if she didn’t have someone already? Maybe. She hates that she lets herself feel hopeful for something that seems impossible. This is how she gets hurt and she knows it. 

_ ‘Fight for her’ _

She laughs at her own thoughts. She can’t even have a normal conversation with her. Tobin is a soccer player with a big dream. Christen is a doctor who saves people’s lives everyday. They already seem to be headed towards two different directions. What if she does not make the national team? What if the league folds? Would she be OK depending on someone? What about her dad? She needs a drink. Tobin walks down the driveway to walk to a local bar down the street. She needs to forget.

Christen never thought she’d like being alone and enjoying the silence of the night. Maybe she is so used to the city lifestyle. In her pjs, Christen is leaning into the railing of her bedroom’s balcony. She is humming to a song on her speaker. It’s a little late at night so everyone is probably already at home. No car is coming in or out of the driveway. After what feels like hours, Christen is getting sleepy. Finishing her bedtime routine, she takes the last glance down the driveway before closing the curtain. That’s when she sees a shadow. A person stands right near her house, holding a can. Beer? She decides to take a closer look.

“It’s her.” - Christen squints her eyes trying to see clearer. Tobin just puts something in her mouth.  _ ‘She smokes?’ _

‘ Drunkie and a smoker AND a pro athlete?’ - Christen scoffs. 

Tobin still stands there looking up to her house. Her face. It seems sad but hopeful? When Christen turns off the light, Tobin starts walking again. Did she….wait for her to go to sleep?

It’s only been a couple of weeks but sometimes Tobin’s gaze makes her feel overwhelmed. Whatever feelings Tobin has towards her, it’s too much. So much more than all the relationships Christen had before. That look...no one had ever looked at her like that. At first, she thought Tobin was just having a crush but maybe it’s more complicated. Laying in bed, she starts thinking about the soccer player. She doesn’t think that there is a chance she’ll like Tobin. Nothing against what she does with her life but feelings are hard. It happens when it happens. You can’t force it. Maybe this is what's happening to Tobin. She can’t control her feelings. Maybe ignoring her and talking about her lover doesn’t really help Tobin’s situation either. Sometimes Christen is so scared of falling in love. It makes you lose control of everything.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading again. 
> 
> Hope everyone is having a great day. Cheers :)


	4. What kind of person are you?

“Hi Tyler. See you there!” - Tobin waves as she is driving by the Press’ house. 

As promised, Tobin has given Tyler 2 tickets to her game last week, just in case if she wants to invite someone. _‘Maybe Christen will come’._ Somehow, Tyler convinced her to. Maybe because Christen is bored out of her mind. Maybe...maybe she wants to see Tobin play.

The seats are super close to the field. Tobin spots them right away while she is stretching. _‘She came...’_

Tobin is flawless on the field. Tyler leans over and whispers: “People here call her the nutmeg queen.” Christen slowly nods. Her attention has been on Tobin the whole time. There is something about the way she moves and focuses on the field that is kind of attractive.

They meet up at the parking lot after the game and decide to go out for a bite. When they are waiting for their table, Tobin takes a seat at one of the benches in front of the restaurant. Christen and her sister follow. As soon as Christen sits down, Tobin moves a little away from her. She can’t sit that close.

“Do I smell or something?” - Christen asks with a teasing voice. 

Tobin silently shakes her head then straightens her back, eyes focus on other people who are walking in. It’s more like she is afraid she can’t control herself with Christen’s perfume. She always smells so good.

Right when their table is called, Tobin stands up quickly and steps aside for Christen and Tyler to go first. 

“What are you getting?” - Christen turns to Tobin after asking her sister the same question.

“Uh...ummm...I am not sure” - Tobin hesitates, avoiding eye contact with her.

Tobin has showered after the match. Her hair is still wet, put to one side of the shoulders. She looks fit and strong. The athletic t-shirt she is wearing makes her muscular arms even more obvious. Christen notices a little different in her attitude today. The soccer player has been avoiding going near her. She is so weird. People who liked her would always find a way to talk to her but Tobin, she stands from away and observes. She just walks behind her to make sure Christen is OK.

‘ _What kind of person are you?’_ \- Christen wonders.

While eating, Christen asks Tobin about her dad and gives her some more advice.

-FLASHBACK-

_“ It could be other factors too, like drinking and smoking could affect your dad’s health like that. If you want to be like that, keep drinking and smoking. Even though men are more likely to get it than women but still. It can be genetic.” - Christen looks her in the eye, threatens after hearing her talk about her uncle and her grandpa. Both had experienced strokes and passed away not long ago. “_

-END FLASHBACK-

Just that much but Tobin feels so happy. At least Christen isn't ignoring her anymore.

By the time they finish eating, it’s already quite late. They have a bit of a walk to do to their cars since there wasn’t any parking near the restaurant. The wind is blowing strong. Tyler has come prepared with her warm jacket. Christen totally forgot that it can be quite chilly at night during this time of the year. Tobin pulls out her jacket from her bag and hands it to Christen. Before she can say anything, Tobin already starts walking ahead of her. Even though being left with no choice, Christen is touched with this little action. She obviously can’t hug **her** so giving **her** the jacket is the best option. It makes Christen feel warm inside. _‘Her back looks strong but comfortable’_

\----

By the time Christen finishes her bedtime routine, it’s almost midnight. She turns on her laptop to type a few messages to that annoying person on the other side of the country. She opens the door to the balcony to enjoy some fresh air before bed. _‘ wonder if she’s taken the dog out’_ Christen has been noticing Tobin’s night routine. Somehow her dog always seems to take care of “business” at the alley near her house, which gives Tobin some time to look up to her room. Christen takes a quick glance to see if she is there. She doesn’t want Tobin to know she knows “the secret.” Christen smiles to herself when she knows Tobin is there, turns off her light and gets in bed.

Tobin signs after seeing the light go off. She is overwhelmed with feelings tonight and suddenly wanting to smoke but she quickly pushes the urge away thinking about what Christen said earlier. _‘Damn it’_

-FLASHBACK-

_“ I can tolerate drinkers. I like to drink every once in a while too but I absolutely dislike cigarettes. I don’t see any benefits and it certainly affects people around you.” - Christen adds after talking to Tobin about her dad’s health, Tyler is chuckling because she knows what Christen actually means by that._

\- END FLASHBACK-

She stands there for a while and thinks. If it wasn’t for Christen, her life would be so fine. If it wasn’t for **her** , she wouldn’t have to be fighting with herself right now. She is definitely not a smoker. She only does it when she drinks or when she has too much to think about. 

“Gosh. You are so hopeless” - Tobin scolds herself.

_'Good night Christen.'_ \- She thinks to herself, lifting her head up towards **her** room one more time. 

Meanwhile inside the dark bedroom, someone is mumbling - “Is she going to do everything in secret?” then slowly falling asleep.

\---

Life is still the same. Tobin goes to training and helps out with her dad. Christen is still enjoying her break from work while researching for her next adventure. But the feelings, they don’t die down. 

While Tobin’s relationship with Christen has gone nowhere, she has become good friends with Tyler. They have been playing pick up games together every other day. They talk about random things and Christen. Christen has joined them for dinner on a few occasions now. Tobin notices Christen smiles at her phone a lot. Seems like she is texting someone. Not that she doesn’t know who it is. Tobin honestly doesn’t know what to do with herself. She is actually annoyed because it’s not that she had never fell for someone before but this time, something is different. She has a million feelings and all of them are caused by one Christen Press. Sometimes she wonders if one day Christen ties the knot with someone, what is she going to do? She has been telling herself that it might just be a stupid crush. It’ll go away eventually. She’ll stop thinking about her. Maybe her thoughts are too simple and innocent. Like she has no clue what kind of complicated world she is living in.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good day everyone, thank you for reading. I appreciate your comments and kudos. Cheers :)


	5. What is wrong with you?

“Come on in Tobs... CHRISTEN!.” - Tyler yells. Tobin had fell pretty hard and got a big scratch on her arm, some more scratches and bruises on the leg. Her ankle is also swollen. Good thing nothing is broken. Though the bleeding from her big wound needs to be taken care of.

“What the hell happened to you?” - Christen’s brows furrow as she runs downstairs from her room. Tobin's sleeve and part of her shorts were ripped.  She didn’t expect Tyler to call Christen for help. She could have done it herself she thinks.

“Just had a fall. Not a big de...” - Tobin tries to say it calmly but gets interrupted.

“Go sit down over there. NOW.” - She gives her side eye, not very pleased with the answer.

_ ‘What’s gotten into you?’ _ \- Tobin asks herself, not sure why she is sitting here quietly, watching Christen go from one side of the house to the other to find the First Aid kit. She can do it herself. She is more scared of Christen now than she is of her mom.

“Take off the shirt and put your arm here.” - Christen orders then turns around to ask Tyler to go get some ice for the ankle.

Tobin hesitates, doesn’t know what to do. She honestly doesn’t want to do that in front of Christen. She is not confident and also never wants to do that in front of a girl whom she has a crush on. Too intimate.

“Are you going to do it or I’m gonna have to tear it for you? 

Finally giving up, Tobin slowly lifts up her shirt. Now Tobin is sitting there only with her sports bra on. It would be a lie if Christen said she didn’t look at her abs first.  _ ‘Wow…’  _ Christen observes the wound then uses the cloth with rubbing alcohol to press on it.

“Ouch….” - Tobin whines. 

“Just a little bit more. Did you crash into someone?” - She asks, still focusing on her work.

“Yeah…” - Tobin responds while still gazing at the person who is taking care of her right now.

“Are you crazy? Isn’t your job playing soccer? Is getting hurt during a pick up game worth it?” - Christen seems really annoyed. She doesn’t know why.

“Stop staring. Answer me.” - Christen says again. This person thinks this is a joke. This isn’t no big deal. There is blood everywhere. As she is taking care of the wound, she knows this crazy girl is still staring at her. She doesn’t feel bothered by it anymore. She hasn’t hung out with her and Tyler. But is she gonna make any move? Christen isn’t going to be here forever. Then what is she going to do?

“Are you sure you are okay to play this weekend Tobs?” - Christen scoffs at Tyler’s question. She is so annoyed by this girl. Not sure why.

“Yeah I’ll be fine. As long as the club doesn’t know.” - Tobin nods

“What’s wrong with you? Tell me...what is wrong with you?” - Christen looks at her face then down to her wound and bruises. She doesn’t know what kind of response she wants to hear but she just honestly wants to ask, to solve all the questions in her mind.

_ ‘Such an idiot’ _

“I’m...so..rry.” - Tobin mumbles. What is she going to do to stop Christen from being mad at her?

Christen slowly puts some bandage on the small cuts. She does everything so professionally and gently. Every once in a while, her hand touches Tobin’s skin. It gives her goosebumps. Christen's hands are so smooth, compared to her arms which are full of scars and cuts.

“All done. I would be resting, not playing more soccer if I were you.” - Christen starts cleaning stuff up around her and walks away.

“I can tell the guys you can't play this weekend. No big deal. Here are all the recordings. I figured you are going to have more time to watch all of them.” - Tyler handed Tobin a hard drive, which contains all the recordings of their pick up games. Tobin had asked Tyler if she could borrow them to see what she can improve on. 

“Careful. It contains some very important content.” - Tyler winks and opens the door for the soccer player.

\---

Lights are off in her room, Tobin is laying in bed with her laptop on her lap and the hard drive. She just spent 15 minutes listening to her mom complain about how careless she was and why she would do that when soccer is her career. What if something seriously happened?

“Mom, I’m fine. I gotta get better. I need playing time. That’s how I can get attention from the national team.” - Tobin rolls her eyes.

Tobin stares at the ceiling and signs. It’s been a while since her body is this relaxed actually. Knowing that now she should probably take a couple days off. Refocusing back to her laptop, if she can’t play, then might as well spend her time watching and planning how she can get better. 

“Wow. That’s a lot.” - Tobin mumbles looking at all the files on the drive. She didn’t realize they played these many games. She spends the next half hour on a couple of videos then decides to take a break. Tobin exits out of the folder, there are so many folders on this drive. It looks like a maze. Folders from her trips, music, games, etc. Her eyes shifts to one folder with the name **“DANGER OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK”**

“What the hell? What is she plotting?” - She frowns.

After scrolling down through all the folders, Tobin cannot help her curiosity so she decides to stop right at **“DANGER OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK”** \- Like those people who are not allowed to do something but do it anyways. Tyler has successfully set Tobin up with that name. Before seeing what’s inside, she is already cursing at Tyler for messing with her but then after she opens it, she’s not sure if she wants to be thankful or mad at this “generous” person. Her heart is beating out of her chest. Her eyes are not blinking. Now that she knows what’s in it and why it’s “danger”, it’s too late to erase this memory out of her mind. Pictures of  **her** in bikinis. From little Christen to adult Christen. Stopping at a picture of  **her** ...bare feet, picking up the shells up on the sandy beach, the sun is shining into **her**. It makes **her** sexier than ever. Tobin doesn’t understand Tyler’s intention for doing this but it definitely is having an affect on her.

Maybe Tyler just wants Tobin to have some pictures of her sister when **she** was a kid. Tobin actually just chose the wrong folder to open first. In that folder, there are a few more folders that were put in order with specific titles, like childhood, high school, short hair. Her favorite one is daily activities, pictures of **her** eating, sleeping. Christen was a beautiful kid. **She** likes taking pictures. That infectious smile is found everywhere. But then some candid pictures when **she** is older show **her** beauty even more. There is a black and white picture of **her** , super simple but Tobin loves it. Not sure who took it but they did a great job capturing **her** eyes, **her** lips and that smile. It sends a warm sensation through her body. Tobin has noticed that Christen changes **her** hairstyle frequently but **she** looks good no matter what. But maybe because Tobin basically worships **her** so everything **she** does is perfect. Tobin keeps going through those pictures of Christen. She feels happy to get to know a little more about **her**. She finally goes to bed a couple of hours later after finishing some soccer tapes as well.

Tobin has been coming to the Press’ house for the last 3 days now. After getting a text from Tyler telling her to come over so Christen could check her arm. She basically dropped everything and headed right over. She appreciates these moments very much. She gets to be close to  **her.** Unfortunately, there isn’t any progress in their relationship but maybe it has moved from awkward silence to comfortable silence. Tobin is still the same, making no moves, even though they both know she is overwhelmed by her own emotions. 

For Christen, she is getting more and more curious about this girl. She’s gotta be the weirdest person Christen’s ever met. It’s like to Tobin, standing from a far and looking is enough. Compared to those people who use their words or actions to pursue her, Tobin’s gaze has done it all. Most of the time, Christen can see and feel what Tobin has done for her through her actions, but she doesn’t speak to **her**. But then those eyes really give it away. She can tell right away their owner likes her very much. Her gaze gives Christen everything she wants but it’s not enough for a person who likes words of affirmation like **her**. Tobin Heath never initiates a conversation with her let alone compliment her. If Christen doesn’t ask, she will just be quietly sitting there and waiting. When her wound is all taken care of, Tobin stands up and says two words to her “thank you” then leaves. It’s like she doesn't know any other words besides “hello” and “thank you.” Christen likes to be appreciated but she also likes to hear some spoken affection as well. She is definitely experienced enough to know who means it and who doesn’t. And she really wants to hear what Tobin Heath has to say about her. Like that one day, she intentionally dressed up a little bit but this idiot just basically froze and opened her mouth only to breath. Christen doesn’t know what she would say or how she would react if Tobin actually admitted her feelings to her . Can’t accept it, but reject it?....Anyway she still wants to know what Tobin thinks. 

One person is chill, quiet, introverted, self-conscious, always makes sure to think before speaking, and tries to keep the emotions under control. The other is energetic, extroverted, perfectionist, and likes to be praised. Too many differences in this “love.” They are like two parallel roads that might never meet.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Any thoughts?  
> Thank you for reading :)


	6. You are an idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the chapter that was missing lol

This Saturday, Tobin has a game in the city. She has given Tyler two tickets as promised. It’s perfect timing because Christen needs to go back to the city to do some errands at her apartment as well. And Tyler is meeting a good friend on Sunday. Tyler uses that as an excuse to drag her sister with her to the game. 

“So….I might have invited Tobin to sleepover at your place so she can keep you company on Sunday when I go see my friend.” Tobin would just travel back to Jersey with the team but since Tyler offered, more like begging, she decides to hang back. 

“What?” - Christen’s eyes widen, staring at her sister who is walking into her room. ‘ _What the hell did she just say?_ ’

“I asked Tobin to hang out on Sunday. She was going to go home with the team after the game….I figured you can use some company running errands while I’m not around .” - Tyler explains.

“Tyler! You didn’t even ask me if it was OK for some stranger to sleep over at my place?!?......And I’ve lived there for more than 3 years. I don’t need company” - Christen gives her sister the you-are-freaking-unbelievable-look, who is sitting on the edge of her bed. Christen is quite annoyed.

“First of all, Tobin is not a stranger. She is a friend. Second, what’s the big deal? She can sleep on the couch.” - Tyler's determined that she is going to win this. 

“It would have been nice if you had asked me first. I don’t think it’s a good idea.” - Christen rolls her eyes. Thinking about the fact that she’d have to hang out with her biggest fan who barely says anything when they are around each other. ‘ _How awkward would that be? Plus what the hell would we be talking about?’_

“Welp. It’s done. I already offered.” - Tyler totally ignored Christen’s annoyance.

“I really don’t care. That’s your business. Now you can leave. I’m going to bed.”

“Well….actually…” - Tyler hesitates, not sure if she should say it.

“What?” - Christen focuses on typing something on her phone, ignoring Tyler’s attitude. 

“It’s not fully my idea.” - Her sister confesses. 

“What do you mean? Then whose?” - Christen’s brow furrowed.

“Well I was telling Tobin how I felt bad leaving you like that when I am basically dragging you to the game. She kinda said she didn’t have anything on Sunday so she could go with you.” - Tyler says, carefully observes Christen’s face. “She said she would get a hotel near your place. I said that would be silly. She can just stay with us. Then she said as long as you are OK with it” - She adds.

“......tell her as long as she is OK with the couch”- Christen responds after a long pause.

“But Ty….what kind of person is she?” 

\----

“Morning Tobs. You slept ok?” - Tyler smiles. After the game yesterday, they had dinner and finally went back to Christen’s place. Tobin was more nervous going to **her** house than she was for the game. **Her** apartment is cozy and homey. It smells great and is very clean. 

“Morning. Uh...yeah it was good. The couch is honestly super comfy.” - Tobin responds. Truthfully, she could barely sleep. The thought that she is in Christen’s place kept running through her head. And today, she gets a whole day with **her**. She is excited but also nervous. 

“You ready?” - Christen steps out of the bedroom and asks. After Tyler leaves, Tobin has been chilling on the couch, looking around for a while and now playing on her phone.

Christen grabs her purse and jacket, bends down to pick up a big box that is carefully wrapped. Tobin immediately gets up and offers help. “I’ll take that for you.”

“How long have you been waiting? Tyler didn’t even tell me she was leaving” - Christen turns to her and asks while opening the door.

“Ah not long at all.” - They both are walking down the street...together.

After a while, Christen speaks up: “You know what I hate the most after cigarettes?” 

“No..” - Tobin says, hopefully it’s not her.

“Silence” - Christen turns to look at her. “Why are you so quiet? Is it just to me or to everyone?”

“Ah...no, I’m like this to everyone. I just don’t know what to say…” - Tobin starts sweating.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me at all”

“No, no, it’s not like that.”

Tobin feels like she is being toyed around by Christen. It’s not like she doesn’t know Tobin likes **her. T** hat’s why she can’t even open her mouth. How is **she** expecting her to answer? _‘All I want to do is to talk to you’_

They are now at a post office because Christen said she needed to ship the box out first thing in the morning. It’s a gift for someone on the other side of the country. 

“What’s today’s date? - Christen asks while filling out a form from the post office's staff.

“May…29th” - Tobin answers immediately, then follows her to the counter.

“To San Francisco please. Here’s the address.” - Christen smiles at the lady at the counter then steps aside for Tobin to put the box on the scale.

“Is there anything you want to do?” - Christen turns to Tobin when they are still waiting at the counter.

“No. I’m just here to keep you company. Whatever you need to do is fine with me.” 

“Okay I wanna go buy a few things. It’s been a while.”

SoHo is one of the most popular shopping neighborhoods in NYC. Shops with a wide range of options/styles/budgets for everyone. Christen loves shopping. She can definitely use some retail therapy now since her residency is finishing up and she still doesn’t know what she wants to do yet. Plus she’s been dealing with some emotional stress caused by the person who is walking next to her. And Tobin, she doesn’t like crowded places. She wears whatever her family buys her for Christmas or team clothes or if she needs something she usually just orders online. The hassle of going shopping isn’t something Tobin wants to deal with. But for **her** , she will.

_‘She is kinda cute.’_ \- Christen has been noticing Tobin’s behavior as they are walking through the shops. Her eyes go wide open, mouth mumbling something looking at the price tags, like there is no way she is paying for that.

“Let’s go.” - Christen pulls her out of her thoughts, her focus comes back to **her** , the love of her life.

  
  


“Can I sit here?” - Tobin asks one of the staff, then sits on a chair in a shop. She feels a little weird following Christen like this. There are still people who enjoy going from one shop to another like this? She thought you could do all of this online. It’s more convenient. But she remembers listening to a conversation between some of her teammates. They prefer going to the store so they can try the clothes on. All the clothes in here are definitely not her style. She likes to be comfy. She wears simple clothes, not a lot of colors. She only really dresses up on special occasions. Looking around for a while, carefully observing all the people who are in the store, she turns around and looks for Christen, who is definitely enjoying her shopping. Checking different styles, chatting with the staff, using that infectious smile on other people. Tobin’s heart is beating fast. 

“Which one do you like better?” - Christen asks when she catches Tobin’s eyes on her.

“I….” - Tobin stares at the two dresses. She is still surprised by her question.

“You can go try them on. That’ll be easier to judge” - The staff says helping Tobin out after seeing her blank face.

“Okay yeah.” - Christen chuckles at Tobin’s face.

Tobin straightens up, her hands clamp into each other trying to not focus on the fact that Christen is changing over there. Why is she asking her? Does she not see what Tobin wears everyday?

“What do you think?” - Christen steps out, carefully observes Tobin’s facial expression. Both dresses are quite short, a little above the knees. The black one reveals more of Christen’s skin from the neck, shoulders, and arms. It makes her super attractive collarbones more visible. Christen is quite amused by the changes in the other girl’s reaction.

“Do you want to wait to see the other one?” - Christen asks.

“You...can try the other one on” - Tobin stutters, not looking up.

_‘There is a hole in the back too?’._ She is blushing looking at Christen’s back.

Tobin starts fanning herself. It’s still pretty chilly during this time of the year in NYC, why is she so hot? _‘ Deep breaths.’_

“Alright here you go” - Christen runs her hand through her hair when stepping out of the changing room. This time she is wearing a flowery sleeve less dress. Super cute.

“Which one do you think I should buy?”

“Umm.. this one” - Tobin says, Christen looks so cute in this dress. With her hairstyle today, she looks perfect.

“Why?....you didn’t like the other one? I though it was beautiful.”

“You look….look cu..ter in this one”

Christen smirks. Tobin finally compliments her but her answer kinda surprised her. She thought she would pick the black one because of her reaction when she stepped out. Tobin Heath is really cute right now. Her face is red like a tomato. She can’t say a full sentence without stuttering. It’s like she wants to say something but doesn’t know how to do it.

“But you don’t like the black one? At all?”

“No no, i do, b...but” - She doesn’t know what to say. She does really like the back one. Christen looked so sexy in it. But maybe it’s not a good idea because other people will be going after her too. Tobin doesn't like that.

“But what?” 

“Nothing. You get whatever you want. I’ll wait outside.” - Tobin says then quickly exits the store. She is blushing.

Tobin is nowhere to be found when Christen walks out of the store. She doesn’t have her phone number either.

“Sorry I went to the bathroom. How long have you been waiting?” - Tobin breathes heavily. She was worried Christen would have to wait so after going to the bathroom, she sprinted straight back.

“It’s fine. We’ll go one more round then let’s find something to eat. I’m getting hungry.” 

“Here I’ll take the bag for you.” - Tobin offers since Christen is carrying a few bags already.

Christen casually strolls down the street. She is not planning to buy anything else. However, she decides to stop by this hat store. 

“Let’s go in here.”

Now Tobin is confused. This is definitely not Christen’s style but certainly Tobin’s. Tobin loves hats. She doesn’t live a materialistic life but she is super into hats. This store has a variety of hats, beanies, caps, etc. _‘ Maybe she is buying for whoever is in California’._ The thought makes Tobin feel sad but she tries to ignore it. While Tobin is lost in her thoughts and wandering around the store, Christen is already making a purchase at the counter.

“I’ll take this one. Thanks.”

“Alright let’s find something to eat. I’m hungry” - Christen signs and checks her phone. It’s late afternoon now and she still has not heard back from Tyler.

“Do you know a good place around here?” Tobin asks, “I know you live here but I do have a suggestion if you don’t.” - Tobin adds before Christen opens her mouth.

“Oh okay where? Let’s go there.” - Christen seems excited.

“Well it’s in Brooklyn…..If you can wait.” - Tobin hesitates. They have to take the subway there so Tobin isn’t sure if Christen would like that.

“Okay that’s fine. I like trying new restaurants.” - Christen says, quite excited that Tobin finally suggests something.

\---

Tobin takes Christen to a local Italian restaurant, which is owned by one of her really good friends. She doesn’t come to the city very often but whenever she comes, she always eats here. Tobin has called in advance to tell her friend she was coming since it’s Sunday so the restaurant is very busy. 

“Tobin Heath! Haven’t seen you in ages. Same table my friend.” - The owner greets both of them and gives Tobin a hug. Tobin knows the cue, leads Christen to the back where the reserved table is.

“I know...I’ve been so busy with training and stuff. It’s not like you come back to Jersey much either.” - Tobin says. Tobin and Megan grew up together then they both went separate ways to start their careers but still keep in touch. 

“We gotta catch up dude. I’ll be back in a bit. You know the drill.” - She hands the girls the menu and gives Tobin the you-better-tell-me-about-this-girl look. It makes Tobin laugh out loud.

“You guys seem close.”

“Ah yeah, Megan and I go way back. We went to school together. Then she finally decided there were more opportunities in the city so she moved away.” 

“Why didn’t you move?”

“Ah well the professional soccer league is complicated. You don’t really get to choose where you go but i’m lucky to be able to play close to home. It’s not too bad” - Tobin scratches her neck, tries to avoid eye contact with Christen.

“One Megan’s special pizza. The rest will be out shortly.” 

“I think there is a mistake. We didn’t order this.” - Tobin points to the food that’s on the table. ‘Megan’s special? Since when does Megan have a special pizza?’

“Ah it’s complementary.”

Before Tobin can say anything, all the staff in the restaurant starts singing Happy Birthday with Megan walking in the back with a small dessert and a candle. Tobin shakes her head and covers her face with her hands. She starts laughing. She didn’t expect anyone to remember. Honestly, when you are not 20 or 21, birthdays aren’t as exciting anymore. Her birthday tends to fall during the weekday or when she is away for soccer so she usually just gets some calls or texts from family and friends. Except for this year, her birthday happens to fall on a Sunday and she gets to spend it with a girl she likes so much. It already seems extra special. She doesn’t need anything else, just walking next to Christen, having dinner together. That’s enough. She doesn’t need Christen to know as long as she gets to be close to her for a little bit.

“I got it.” - Tobin takes the check.

“No you don’t have to do that. I got it.” - Christen picks up her bag to look for her wallet.

“No for real. I got it this time.”

Christen notices that Tobin is very polite and courteous. She usually doesn’t like people carrying her stuff or holding the door for her because she is an independent woman and she doesn’t want people to think she has to rely on others. But the way Tobin does it, it makes her feel protected and cared for. It’s not like those who do it because it’s what they are supposed to do. Christen can feel that Tobin means well. Only Tobin has given her these feelings. Even though she doesn’t show from the outside, Christen’s inside is warm and touched by all that Tobin has done. Christen can see that Tobin can be an amazing support system and a place for her to fall back to. It would be a lie if Christen said she didn’t have any feelings towards the soccer player but she is also not willing to give up everything to be with her either.

“You haven’t answered my question.” - She asks, putting on Tobin’s fleece pullover. There is no strong perfume, or strong softener, just the light detergent smell and Tobin….it smells like Tobin Heath…

“What question?”

“Why did you offer to hang out with me?”

“Well I know Tyler felt kinda bad for bailing after she already told you she would come with.”

“That’s it? You could be resting today after the game yesterday. I don’t know how she can ask you to do something and you do right away.”

“Ah it’s not like that. I could use a day like today. I hadn’t been out for a while.” - Tobin says with a shy smile, giving Christen a nervous look. 

  
  


One person who doesn't want to admit her feelings, one person who is super curious and wants to know. Like that, both refuse to give up their decisions. The truth is they both know why the air around them right now is so weird. Tobin actually doesn’t really get why Christen asked that question, the truth….doesn’t she already know? Or what she wants is the confirmation from Tobin? She doesn’t think Christen would say that just to tease her. Why would she put salt on the open wound like that? Christen probably knows Tobin doesn’t just want her acceptance, she wants more than that but Christen would not be happy being with her. And for Christen, she wasn’t just joking. She wanted Tobin to tell her the real reason, Tobin’s reason. But like she thought, Tobin chose to stay quiet, not express her feelings. Maybe it’s good for both of them. It’s not like Christen can make her do something she doesn’t want to do.

“Anyway, thank you for coming with me today. Here’s your pullover.” - They finally take the train back to Jersey after Tyler said she would be back later.

“Not a problem at all. Here are your bags. It’s cold, you should go in.”

“Here for you. Happy Birthday.” - Christen smiles and gives a bag back to Tobin. It is the snapback she bought earlier.

Tobin freezes, doesn’t believe what she just heard. Christen just said Happy Birthday to her. When the pizza came out, Christen was in the restroom so she didn’t know. When she asked, Tobin just simply said it was complementary. So the hat she bought in the shop wasn’t for whoever is in California, it’s for her.

“How do you know it’s my birthday?”

“You are an idiot. See ya.” - Christen chuckles and walks towards her house. Leaving Tobin behind with the bag in her hand. 

_ “But Ty...what kind of person is she?” _

_ “Don’t know...all I know is today is her birthday…” _

  
  



	7. Losing everything

“Hey Tobs, guess whom I managed to drag out here?” - Tyler grins.

Christen finally gives in. She is bored out of her mind. She is usually fine when both of her sisters are home but when they both leave, she’s got nothing to do. So today, she decides to come out of retirement.

“Hi Christen.” - Tobin gives **her** a shy smile.

“Alright let’s divide the teams up before this princess changes her mind.” - Tyler says, raising her brows towards Tobin. Christen just rolls her eyes at the comment.

Tobin squints her eyes, Tyler is definitely plotting something again. 

“....and Christen, will be on Tobin’s team.” - Tyler smirks after announcing the lineup for Tobin’s team. Before Christen or Tobin can say anything, her sister pats them both in the back and runs to the field.

“You guys ready to get your a**es kicked??” - Tyler yells from across the field.

Christen quickly gives her sister the finger and mouths - “ Watch me.”

Christen plays quite well considering the last time she played was probably 2 years ago. She is breathing heavily as she walks off the field to get some water during half time. She turns around and sees her sister walking with her arm around Tobin’s shoulder. They are both laughing and chatting. 

“So romantic. You guys make me want to throw up.”- Christen says with a chuckle.

Tobin is so happy right now. It doesn’t matter if her team wins or loses anymore. She never thought she would be playing soccer with Christen Press. 

“Yes! Nice job Tobin.” - Christen raises both her hands up, yells excitedly when Tobin puts one to the back of the net.

\---

“What did you say? Going where?”

“Christen is going back to the city at the end of the month to finish up her residency then she is joining a medical volunteer program in.....Uganda.”

“Uganda?? Why Uganda? She can’t do that here or somewhere closer?”

“If there is one thing you should learn about my sister, it’s that once she makes a decision, nobody can change her mind. She’s always wanted to do that though. To go overseas for a while.”

Tobin is covering her face with her hands. What Tyler said hits her hard. She is shaking. She can’t think anymore. One more week, and she will not see her again. On the way back home from physiotherapy, she just wants to see Christen again so all the pain inside of her can settle for a little while. She does not sleep at all that night. Why does she keep receiving bad news?

Since last month, her dad’s health has gotten worse but the last few days it’s not as bad. Dr. Press has confirmed a second illness for her dad. Even when he was younger, sometimes he would get these extreme chest pain. Dr. Press has ordered her family to bring him to the hospital. Once her dad got admitted to the hospital, Perry, her mom and her have been taking turns to stay in there with him. 

“How long is she going for?”

“It depends. You can register to do however long you want. Knowing her, I think she is going to be traveling for a long time.”

The news really kills all the energy she has left in her body. She hasn’t been able to see Christen for a few days because she is in the hospital and she misses her like crazy…. How is she gonna be able to survive? What has she done to deserve this torture? And her dad….it’s been so stressful.

Tobin drags her drunk self to the bathroom. She is exhausted. Her body is breaking down. She hasn’t slept for a few days. Now her mental health is falling apart as well. She has this habit of hiding in the bathroom whenever something bad happens. Letting the water run over her...washing away all the sadness. Then she climbs into bed, falling asleep to forget everything. But today, she quickly finishes her shower, takes the dog out so she can have another chance to look at **her**...or her bedroom. Christen hasn’t been out to the balcony for a while now. Maybe it’s the stress of going back to work. Tobin stands there almost everyday, watching the light in **her** bedroom go off. She’s never felt this hopeless before. She doesn't understand how she lets herself go this far. She doesn’t want Christen to go. She is going to regret not telling Christen her feelings. Letting Christen go...it’s like releasing a wild animal to its nature. This girl belongs to the bigger world, with someone who is waiting for **her**. And Tobin, she is nothing. She doesn’t even know where she is going to end up. Who is she to ask Christen to stay? The last few months, she has been carrying these overwhelming feelings around and now what is she supposed to do with them when Christen is getting further and further away from her? At least when Christen is here, she feels at peace because **she** is still within her reach. She knows she just has to get used to this idea. It’s just that everything is so new. It’s like you have something that’s becoming important in your life and all the sudden, it’s gone. She knows she will eventually learn to move on but what is scaring her is her hope for something to happen. What the hell is she hoping for anyway? Even one day when Christen is coming back here, she is going to be a successful doctor who deserves to be with a person who will only bring happiness to her. What about Tobin? She’s got no clue where her life is going. 

\---

Christen hears noises downstairs. Her dad is talking to her mom about something. It’s only 6am. She is leaving tomorrow so either excitement or anxiety has woken her up this early. 

“What’s going on Dad?

“Mr. Heath just passed away. We are going to the hospital now. It’s a mess. Mrs. Heath is struggling. Let Tyler know when she wakes up. Whenever you guys are ready, come on down. Tobin is in the hospital too.”

How? She knows Mr. Heath’s situation but this is so sudden. She cannot believe it.

Christen arrives at the service in the afternoon. She decides to take the later train into the city so she can make it to the service. Christen approaches one of the family members and asks: “ Where’s Mrs. Heath and…”

“ She is resting in the other room. She is not feeling very well. I think Perry and Kate are in there with her….and Tobin said she wanted to be alone, she just went to the back.”

Christen opens the door where the guy points. She follows it to the back into a little garden. Christen starts looking around, she notices Tobin sitting in a wooden chair, back against the wall, her eyes are closed, not having a care about what happens around her. Christen can tell she is trying to hold back the tears. She looks exhausted.

Tobin finally opens her eyes when she hears the footsteps. She is actually getting annoyed by whomever is interrupting her silence. She has made so many decisions that she never thought she would have to last night. Her eyes are still red from her breakdown earlier. Within a few days, she lost everything, her dad and **her** ….the woman she loves.

Tobin shifts her teary eyes towards her, she knows Christen is leaving later. Couple days ago, she was planning to come by the house to say goodbye. 

“Hi, I’m so sorry.” - She says, sitting right next to Tobin, letting Tobin look at her with those sad eyes. Those eyes will haunt her forever.

Taking a deep breath, inhaling Christen’s scent into her chest, she answers: “Christen, I’m exhausted. I feel like the whole world is messing with me. This might as well be my funeral.”

Christen doesn’t answer. They just sit there in silence. She knows her leaving today is also affecting this girl too.

“You are gonna be alright back in the city?” - Who is going to take care of her?

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing. I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

They sit there for what feels like hours. Christen wants to spend her last few hours here with her, a special friend who is warm, caring, protective, who is caring these feelings for her but would never admit it. For Tobin, she is absorbing this last moment with this girl, her curly hair, her smile, her perfume and her figure. Just a little longer, and she will be missing this girl like crazy.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” - Christen breaks the silence.

“........can I..h.u..g you? Just once.”

Without responding, Christen put her arms around Tobin, pulling her close. She can feel Tobin starting to shake. Her face is buried in Christen’s neck. Christen’s hands are running up and down her back, letting Tobin release everything.

Tobin hugs **her** tight. She needs this. She is letting herself fall for Christen just a little bit more. She just wants some peace for herself, even just for a little while. 

“Stay strong. You got a future ahead of you. And your mom and sisters need you. Your dad is proud of you” - Christen says gently. Her arms tighten around Tobin letting her know **she** is not letting go.

At one point, Christen cannot hold her tears back any longer. She tangles one of her hands in the back of her hair, hoping to ease some of her pain.

“Why is everyone leaving me?” - Tobin says, holding Christen tightly. Tobin is running out of time.

Suddenly, Christen’s phone starts ringing, interrupting their moment. Tobin’s heart sinks. She lifts herself up, looks at Christen : “Can you...not go? Don’t leave me alone here.” 

**Her** ride is here. It’s time for **her** to leave.

**“PLEASE DON’T LEAVE. STAY HERE WITH ME….PLEASE, CHRIS.”**

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorryyyyyyy. It has to happen. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	8. Do I have a chance?

5 YEARS LATER

“Tobin? When did you get back?” - Dr. Press asks surprisingly as he sees Tobin walking the dog near his house.

“Hi Cody! How are you? I just got back last night.” - Tobin smiles.

“It’s been a while! Come over for lunch. Tell me about camp.” - Dr. Press is a big fan of soccer, especially Tobin Heath.

\---

“Tobin Heath! When did you get back? You didn’t answer my text” - Tyler grins widely when she sees Tobin walking in with her dad. 

“Hey Ty! I wasn’t planning to come back but actually got more time off than I thought so might as well. And yeah sorry about not responding, it’s been a busy couple of weeks. Anything new?” - Tobin steps closer to give Tyler a hug.

“Alright you two can catch up later. Tyler, go get Chris.” - Dr. Press says.

‘ _ Chris???? Christen Press?!’ _

“That...that’s why I wanted to talk to you. Asking when you are coming back.” - Tyler whispers and leaves to get Christen upstairs.

Tobin thinks she misheard what Dr. Press just said. Is it really her? Whenever Tobin comes back here, she is always invited over to the Press’ house. Everytime she steps in here, all the memories of  **her** flashback. Even if she thinks she heard it wrong the first time, Tyler basically just confirmed it in her ears. Five damn years. Tobin has not seen her for five damn years. Her heart is beating fast. She is barely breathing. Her hands are shaking. Is **she** really back?

“Tobin. Why are you just standing there? Make yourself at home” - Stacy says noticing something change in her facial expression.

Looking from the outside, Tobin is smiling and making small talk to Dr. Press. But inside, she is nervous and anxious to see  **her** . Every once in a while, she turns her head to the stairs to see if someone is coming down. Tyler who is sitting across from her cannot contain her giggles when she sees it. Tobin keeps laughing nervously at the jokes. ‘ _ Any moment now.’  _ She feels a warm rush in her body now that she knows the girl whom she hasn’t been able to forget is back. In the last 5 years, she went on countless dates, met many many people but none brought the same feelings to her like Christen Press. Sometimes she just wants to give up and move on but she knows it will be unfair to whoever is with her because it doesn’t matter how hard she tries, she still does not feel the same.

“So I didn't know if you knew Tobin but Christen is home. Finally... five years wandering around the world.” - Dr. Press signs with relief. He is very happy that his middle daughter is finally home.

“Oh that’s awesome. That’s a long time. Is she back for good?” - Tobin asks with a half smile.

“No, I was just thinking about something. You guys keep going.” - Tyler starts laughing. She can’t help it, especially with Tobin's uncomfortable expression when she said ‘ _ that’s a long time. Is she back for good?’  _

“No, I tried. She is here for a week. Once she decides something, nobody is gonna be able to change her mind.” - Dr. Press smiles and shakes his head. He is very proud of her but sometimes her stubbornness is…

Tobin tries her best to hide her disappointment. In the last few years, not showing her real feelings to other people has become her specialty. That calmness and peace from the news Christen is back is quickly overcome by  **her** not going to be here for long. 

Christen steps out of the shower, yawning. The time difference is going to be the death of her. The suitcases are still in the hallway untouched. Changing into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, remembering that Tyler just told her to dress decent because they have a guest, she closes the door and makes her way downstairs. She already can hear the laughters in the dining room. 

“About time. Took forever.” - Tyler says it out loud to inform everyone.

Tobin is sitting with her back against the stairs so she doesn’t register what happens until Tyler says it. As soon as she hears it, she feels butterflies in her stomach, everything around her is blurry, noises are blocked. The first thing she feels is the smell of that perfume. It’s still the same kind. She’s missed it so much. She takes a long deep breath, she feels like her chest is going to explode. Christen hasn’t changed much. Maybe more mature, more experienced, a little more confident and definitely more beautiful. 

Christen turns to say hi to the person who is sitting next to the empty chair. She is caught in a very familiar gaze. This girl looks young, her hair is on one side of her shoulders, the jawline is amazing and...sexy.

“Chris...remember who this is? - Stacy says.

“Hi Ch..risten. It’s been a while.” - Tobin says, receiving a laugh immediately from the person across from her. She uses her foot to stump on that person’s foot under the table. Tyler is enjoying this moment since she is the only one here who knows the history.

“She might recognize the face but she is basically a different person now.” - Tyler says with her hand on her chin, observing this interaction. “I mean...that gaze just gave it away.” - Tyler chuckles.

“I hate you.” - Tobin gives Tyler a side eye which makes Dr. Press laugh.

Christen squints her eyes and takes another look, ‘ _ that look...that voice’ _ : “Tobin..Heath?”

Tobin has the biggest grin on her face right now. She is blushing. She honestly didn’t expect Christen to remember her. 

“Tobin is a superstar now. She is a big deal around here.” - Dr. Press says with a smile.

“Really? Did you make it to the national team? How did I not know anything?”

“Yeah I did. 5 years ago.”

“I still remember that day when I heard the news. I was so happy for you.” - Tyler says, remembering when Cindy told her Tobin had been called up to camp, not too long after her dad passed away.

“She is one of the best ones out there. I’m surprised you didn’t hear. She won 2 World Cups already! They won the last one in France."

“Yeah, just last year” - Tobin nods.

“I was in Belgium during that time.”

Christen is quite surprised actually. Not surprised by Tobin’s success, more by her presence. She remembers Tobin was soft, warm, caring, a little innocent, super introverted and definitely shy. Now she is competing on big stages, winning world cups. She seems more confident, more mature, talks more and maybe...hotter.

“When are you flying out Chris?”

“I’m thinking Saturday so I can move in and stuff. I have to look at tickets.”

“Tobin, when are you flying back? You two should go together?”

“Ummm wait what? I’m going to Portland” - Tobin’s brows furrow with confusion.

“Uh..yeah Christen is going to Portland too. Where do you think she is going?” - Tyler smirks.

“...”

“She’s got a really good offer over there so she is moving. She always liked to be on the west coast anyways. That’s why she went to Stanford.” 

“Oh..ah yeah okay I can help you out with flights if you want.” - Tobin says with a grin. 

\--FLASHBACK--

_ “Are they still together?” _

_ “Who?” _

_ “Christen and her lover... in California” _

_ “Why are you asking now?....Don’t worry about it. You gotta tell her. This is your chance. If i said yes, are you gonna be like this forever?” _

_ “So they are still together?” _

_ “OMG….I want to beat you up sometimes. You are THE Tobin Heath. One of the best forwards in the world. You are not you 5 years ago. You gotta work on your self-confidence. You gotta tell her how you feel. She doesn’t like people who can’t talk. And about her lover, they are never going to break up.” _

_ “Then how am I gonna have a chance?” _

_ “I don’t know about now but about her lover, it’s Kelley, her best friend. They have been attached at the hip since college. That’s why I call her Christen’s lover to tease her. I honestly hope it works out with you guys. If you are patient, you will have a chance.” _

\---END FLASHBACK---

There are some roads you will always remember. It doesn’t matter where you go. For Tobin, it’s the driveway to her parents’ house. Especially now it reminds Tobin these feelings she has had for that girl for so many years. She hasn’t walked this road for a while. She still remembers who lives where, what colors the doors and the walls are...She moved across the country 4 years ago to play for Portland Thorns. It was a big move for her but a necessary one. She is still thankful for that opportunity everyday. 

Christen lets out a long sign. She has finally finished reorganizing her luggage. She has a week to rest before going back to the real world. She spent the last 5 years gaining so much medical experience in many countries in Africa and Europe. She knew at some point she needed to come back to settle. The older she gets, the more exhausting traveling is for her. She decides to not take the job at her dad’s practice, especially with the offer she has in Portland. 

“Wow….if the national team hadn’t called her up, they would have been crazy.” - Christen mumbles as she is watching some Youtube video of Tobin at the last World Cup in France.

She does remember about that one time when she got dragged to play in a pick up game with her sister and Tobin. She was impressed with Tobin’s skills on the ball. She thought there was something really special about it. 

\---

Having been traveling a lot, Tobin was able to hook Christen up with a decent price for a first class seat next to her. Tobin is in front of the Press’ house 10 minutes earlier than what she told Christen. They have a good drive to the city to get to JFK airport. She was supposed to fly straight from camp to Portland to get ready for the new season but it turned out she got a couple more days off. And she hadn’t seen her family in a long time so she decided to fly up to Jersey instead. Now Tobin is extremely happy and excited because it seems like her coming here happened for a reason...and that reason is  **her** ….After 5 years waiting, the love of her life is coming with her to the city she has called her for the last 4 years...Portland. How did this happen?

“I’m gonna get you some tickets to the Thorns games. You gotta fly out there some time ok? Free accommodation at my place.” - Tobin tells Tyler.

Christen steps out with her suitcases. Tobin quickly walks towards her to help out.

“Ty...you better come visit. Bring Channing too. Though I never see her anymore” - Christen frowns. She did really miss her family during those 5 years. 

“Yeah i know. Drive safe. Let me know when you guys are at the airport.”

Closing the trunk, Tyler steps back watching Tobin start the car. Tobin is so nervous that she didn’t even say bye to Christen’s sister. Tyler chuckles thinking about the awkwardness on the car between those two. 

_ ‘You can do it Tobs’ _

Tyler is the only person who knows about this complicated relationship. She really really really hopes things will work out between them. She doesn’t see why Christen would say no. Christen is going to find out Tobin has been holding on to this for 5 years. Every time Tobin and Tyler run into each other in town, which happens 2 3 times a year, she always gets the questions like ‘ _ how is Chris? Where is she now? What is she doing there? Everything going well?’ _ ...just like that...2-3 times a year for the last 5 years.

_ “Why do you need to know? It’s not like you can do anything” _

_ “I know I can’t do anything but if I don’t know, I’ll think about her even more. Even if I can’t see her, at least I can know how she is doing.” _

_ “You really fell hard huh?” _

_ “I honestly don’t know how or why. If I did, I would find a way to move on already don’t you think.” _

_ ‘You got 1 hour in the car and 6 hours on the plane to change your life Tobin Heath.’ - _ Tyler mumbles to herself when she watches that car disappear.

\---

“I got something for you.” - Tobin says, handing Christen a small bag.

“Is there a special occasion? 

“No...I just thought I’d give you a welcome to Portland gift.” - Tobin smiles softly.

Pulling out of the bag, it’s a Thorns Jersey with HEATH 17 on the back. Christen chuckles, turning to the person who is driving - “ You have changed a lot you know that?”

“Yeah everybody says that.”

“No I mean the way you communicate. I remember barely hearing more than 5 words coming out of your mouth everytime we met. Now flirting.” - Christen teases. She is quite interested in getting to know this new version of Tobin Heath. 

“...”

“Anyway, thank you. Now I definitely have to go to one of the games.” - Christen says, feeling the material of the jersey and running her index finger on Tobin’s name.

There isn’t much talking in the car. Tobin is quietly enjoying her company, in her head planning all the questions she wants to ask. Christen is too busy looking out the highway, sometimes texting someone on **he** r phone. Everything would have probably been more normal if that night hadn’t happened, the night Tobin came over for dinner. Christen was leaning against her balcony, enjoying the silence of the night when she noticed Tobin with the dog in the alley across from her house. Their eyes met immediately. Either refused to look away. She could not see clearly everything on Tobin’s face but she could tell there was a lot Tobin wanted to say ‘ _I miss you. I’m so happy you are back. I’m still here 5 years later, waiting’_ Christen doesn’t understand why she could not look away from that gaze that night. 

They finally make it past security at JFK. “You want anything to drink Chirs?” - Tobin asks as they are approaching a Starbucks. “We got some time. We can chill there for a bit.”

_ ‘We?’ _ \- Is it the same Tobin Heath? “Yeah sure. Just a coffee is fine.”

“So how is it being on the national team? Is it exactly what you had hoped for?"

“It’s great. All my best friends now are on the team. It’s tough for sure, lots of sacrifices. I’ve missed a lot of important events in my family. Especially now that I’m living across the country. I think it’s worth it though and they understand.”

“Why did you move all the way to Portland? Honestly I never thought you would move anywhere.”

“Yeah after my dad passed away, my mental health went down hill. Like I lost everything. You left. I just couldn’t really focus anymore. I missed you a lot. I was really stressed. I thought about retiring. Suddenly the offer came from nowhere. It was like saving me from drowning. I took it right away. It was a good change for me. I’m glad I did.” - Tobin says, her hands are spinning the coffee cup nervously.

“...How are you now?” - Christen hesitates to ask. She doesn't’ know if she wants to know the answer, especially because she is one of the reasons.

“I’m better now. It took me a long time. Soccer saved me for sure.” - Tobin gives  **her** a small smile.

“I watched a couple of videos of the last World Cup. You were great.” 

“Really?” - She’s heard a lot of praises but nothing compares to one from this girl. It makes Tobin so happy. - “ Once the season starts again, I’ll get you some free tickets to the games.”

“You don’t have to. I can totally buy it. I’ll definitely come.”

“No, I’ll take care of it. That’s just perks of knowing a player” - Tobin grins and continues - “We got a couple of hours. Let’s go sit in the Club Lounge.”

“Why can’t we just sit out here?” - Christen asks curiously.

“I don’t want you to be bothered by the fans or people who recognize me. Sometimes it’s better to not be seen with me.”

“..you know what you would say 5 years ago? ‘ _ Because Tyler asked me to take care of you’ _ , or something like that”

“...”

Christen is truly enjoying this new version of Tobin Heath. All her acts are the same but now she is not making excuses anymore.

Christen thinks it’s quite interesting because she could always see Tobin’s intentions, 5 years ago she knew Tobin liked her, 5 years later she can tell that those feelings are still here. She can also tell sooner or later Tobin is going to tell her. They both sit in the lounge in silence. Like 5 years ago, they know what’s happening and what will happen. Tobin wants her and Christen doesn’t know what she is going to do once Tobin admits her feelings.

“You don’t mind people talking when they see you with me?”

“I should be asking you that question. You don’t mind? I bet there will be pictures on social media tomorrow.”

“You seem to be taking care of my potential concern. Now answer my question.” - Christen says softly.

“I think it’s time…..I worry about myself instead of thinking about what other people think.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have feelings for you...you probably know that for a long time. I like you a lot.”

“...”

“I’m just wondering if I have a chance. Do you have someone already?”

“What if I do...what are you going to do?”

“I...will keep trying...It might be more difficult but I'd like to think that I deserve a chance for happiness, doesn't matter how small. I will move on if you are committed to someone...Yeah I’ll give up then.” - Tobin says with a sad smile on her face.

Christen stares at Tobin’s miserable face. Her body tenses up. She is looking down at her hands. She seems like she’s still hurt from what happened 5 years ago, scared that it’s going to happen again.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we are getting to the good stuff. Thank you for reading. Let me know your thoughts. Cheers!


	9. Take as long as you need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I made a terrriblleee mistake. Please do me a favor. Go back and read chapter 6 BEFORE you read this. I forgot about it haha. So basically I skipped one. I was so confused. You didn't really miss any connections. Just some more fluff LOL. 
> 
> Now you got 2 chapters! You're welcome.

“Thank you. You could have just dropped me off. You didn’t have to come up here.” - Christen says watching Tobin carrying the two heavy suitcases behind.

“It’s ok. Your hands are full. I’m happy to help.”

“You can just leave them there. I'll re-organize everything tomorrow.” - Christen points at a corner of her brand new apartment. Her job was super generous. They offer to cover her housing expenses but let her choose the place. “Thank you so much. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“It’s no big deal. If you ever need help with anything, call me...Tyler might have given me your phone number, I hope that’s ok.”

“Of course. You don’t have to ask me.” - Christen smiles softly. This girl is probably the only one that still asks for permission to have someone’s phone number in this day and age.

“I mean it’s your personal information. I wouldn’t want to do anything that you don’t want...Anyways, you should get some sleep. It’s been a long day.” - Tobin says heading to the front door.

“Yeah. Thanks again. I owe you.”

Waiting for Tobin to disappear into the elevator, Christen then closes the door. So she admitted her feelings for  **her** ...Christen doesn’t really know what to do. She can’t control how Tobin feels. Everything has changed so much. They both added 5 years into their age. They are real adults with real responsibilities. They somewhat know what they want and don’t want. Christen is no longer interested in casual dating or casual relationships. She wants a commitment. And Tobin, she is more mature now, has a successful career, a famous person really….and single.

‘Who is she?” - Tobin Heath.

‘What does she want?” -  **her.**

‘What can she do?’- Love  **her** unconditionally.

And so they are just starting to get to know each other. No pressure. Christen is simply letting her heart decide. She is not forcing anything but also not stopping it. She shakes her head, trying to push away all the thoughts. Whatever happens, happens. Plans never work. She finally drags all her belongings to the bedroom. It’s a cozy one-bedroom apartment with a balcony viewing the city, not too far from the hospital where she starts work tomorrow.

\---

“This is Dr. Press. She is joining her team. She did her residency in NYC and traveled around to do volunteer work for what?...5 years. Please don’t scare her yet.”

“Hi, just call me Christen. Looking forward to working with you all.”

“Dr. Press...you are so pretty. You dating anyone?” - someone in the group teases, making the group and Christen laugh. Christen realizes 60% of the people in the group are older. The rest is around her age. It makes her feel excited about this opportunity. 

“Happy first day at work! I know how hard you have worked. You deserve this!” - She smiles at the text her dad just sent her. 

She is looking forward to starting a life here. The last 5 years had been great but it was getting tiring at the end. She wants to have friends, go out for drinks on days off, just do normal things without having to plan what’s next every 6 or 12 months.

“You sure you don’t want to eat Christen?” - One of the nurses asks.

“I’m all good. Thank you. I get really sleepy when I’m full.” - Christen pouts looking at all the amazing food on the table.

“Thought you were trying to lose weight..” - the other girl teases.

“Oh please...people lose weight just by looking at you.” 

“Omg...stop teasing me.” - Christen chuckles.

\---

Christen and a couple of nurses, Lindsey and Emily, are resting in the on-call room. Five minutes ago, she was in the cafeteria getting some coffee when she saw them eating. She has talked to them the most since she got here. They are super friendly and energetic. Christen tries to only associate with some people she works with, knowing that she doesn’t really need to get into any drama right now. She’s got a lot of work to do to prove that she deserves to be here even though compared to a lot of people, she’s got way more experience because of her time overseas. However, there are always some people who don’t approve how she went away like that instead of working her way up here. Now she just got back and immediately got offered a job that so many people were competing for.

“Remember Nima from cardio? He asked about you.” - Emily says.

“What did he say? I think we met briefly once.” - Christen says, sipping on her coffee.

“He asked a bunch of questions about you and wanted your number. Can I give it to him? He’s hot.”

“Why can’t he go ask her himself?” - Lindsey interrupts.

“Cut him some slack. Have you seen Dr. Press here?”

“Ummm..no..i d..on’t think so.” - Christen hesitates. Not sure why Tobin Heath pops in her mind.

“Omg do you have someone? Is this the person who has been sending gifts here?” - Lindsey jumps up, asks excitedly.

“And the gifts have been quite creative...Not only flowers, but sometimes chocolate, protein shakes...the same brand my Tobin Heath is promoting.” - Lindsey teases. “...and definitely has money because I saw a card sent from Portugal the other day.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. Why is your face so red Christen?” - Emily asks, using her index finger to poke Christen’s cheek. They both start laughing.

Christen can’t hide her shy smile. She thinks she needs to get out of here asap.

“Whatever...I’m leaving.” - Christen says, chugging the rest of her coffee and walks away from these two annoying people, who are still laughing at her.

Christen looks around her office looking for her phone.

_ ‘Ah...the coat… _ ’ - She quickly remembers she left it in her white coat which is hung on the door.

Three messages, 1 missed call. Christen slowly sits down on the sofa, opens each message. The coffee definitely woke her up. She usually doesn’t drink coffee at night but since she is on-call, she needed something to keep her from falling asleep.

[Tobin Heath - 22:30pm] Hi, are you still up?

  
  


[Tobin Heath - 22:37pm] Already sleeping?

  
  


[Tobin Heath - 22:45pm] Good night Christen <3

It’s 23:20 already, Tobin probably thinks she is already asleep, hesitates to text her back.

  
  


[Chris <3 - 23:21pm] I’m on call tonight, sorry didn’t answer earlier.

  
  


Tobin Heath wants to be with  **her** but she has a weird strategy. Well more like no strategy at all. She’ll show up every once in a while but gifts are sent quite often. The first time was a few days after they arrived in Portland. She called Christen and asked for a date. Almost like making an appointment at the doctor's office. But the weird thing is she wanted to see  **her** after 10pm. Tobin had a game that day. Who in the world would go on a date that late? Maybe people in their early twenties...Christen is basically half hallucinating after 10o’clock.  **S** he was wondering where on earth would this girl take  **her** ? It turned out they were just sitting in Tobin’s car for 2 hours, eating some food she brought and a bunch of juice bottles she bought because she didn’t know which kind Christen would prefer. Just like that, Christen just answered all her questions and listened to her stories. Then she climbed back up to her apartment with a bag of Thorns goodies. Then Tobin disappeared for 3 weeks, came to take  **her** on a ride, then to a hike, and recently to a drive in theater.

_ “Just consider me as a friend. We hang out and catch up. I don’t want you to feel any pressure.” _

No forcing, nothing crazy. Ever since that first time she admitted her feelings, Tobin Heath never mentions it again.

She wants Christen to feel comfortable. She doesn’t want  **her** to feel pressured or avoid her. But she doesn’t even know if they can call it a friendship. No friend looks at the other friend like that, with respect, admiration, and so much love. No friend would bring food over to her other friend right after training because she knows the other just had a long night at work. No friend has ever taken good care of  **her** like that.

Looking at the flowers on her desk, Christen smiles softly, wondering what’s coming next. This sender never leaves their name on the package. Lindsey and Emily always make guesses everytime it comes. Sometimes they think it’s someone in the hospital, sometimes they think it’s from her hometown.

Opening her phone again, she starts scrolling through her social media. She’s been in the hospital since this morning, she wasn’t supposed to be on call tonight but someone had a family emergency so she had to stay. She got 2 days off in a row though.

Her curiosity takes over, Christen types Tobin Heath into the search bar. 

Videos of her playing popping up. Her profile/story on Wikipedia…

“ _ USA’s most skillful player” _

_ “U.S Soccer Female Player of the Year 2016” _

_ “Two times World Cup Champion” _

The more she reads, the more she feels curious but how did she not know anything about it? ‘ _ Right...you barely talked to anyone for the last 5 years’ _

Scrolling down to the bottom of the page, something in the “Searches related to tobin heath” catches her attention. “Tobin heath partner” “tobin heath girlfriend”

She sees an interview with a friend of the soccer player.  _ “ Do you know her?” “No, she is really private when it comes to personal life. We are very close but she never really mentions it. One time I was at her apartment. Really nice place. I was just walking around and just opening her bedroom door but Tobin came over and shut the door right away...Now I understood why she never agreed to have interviews at her place. On her bedroom wall there was a big poster that was framed carefully but it’s not her picture, it’s someone else. I couldn’t see clearly who it was though. And then there is a snapback. I mean we all know Tobin and snapbacks but there is this one that she really takes care of. We will never see her wear it out but she loves it. It just stays on a shelf, unworn.” _

When asked about her personal life, Tobin says: “ _ I like to keep my personal life separated from work. Most of my life is public so it’s the only private thing left for me. I only want the closest people to me in my apartment. I don’t really keep things around but all the stuff that I keep means something to me. The snapback is a gift from a friend. It’s one of the most important items in my apartment.” _

Suddenly she feels the urge to find out more about Tobin. “Tobin heath abs”

Tobin doesn’t have 6 packs or anything but her body looks muscular and strong. There is a little tattoo on the side of her stomach. It’s a series of numbers in black ink. When asked what it meant she responded : “ _ these numbers changed my life forever’ _

Her office phone starts ringing, interrupting her thoughts. She is now curious what those numbers mean.

“Hello, Christen speaking.” - Maybe there is an emergency, she thinks. 

“Dr. Press, I am Rachel at the reception. Someone is looking for you down here.”

“Who?” - She doesn’t know anyone here yet and it’s almost midnight. - “ Does that person say their name?”

“Nope. She just said you’ll know.”

‘ _ She’ _

“Okay, thanks. I’ll be right down.”

Hanging up the phone, Christen steps outside seeing Emily walking close - “Ems, I’m going down to the reception. Call me on my cell if you need me.”

“Oh what happened?”

“Not sure, someone is looking for me I guess.”

“At this hour?”

Christen shrugs her shoulders - “Honestly I have no idea who.” - walks towards the elevator.

_ “Tobin? She is not that crazy is she? There are a lot of crazy Thorns fans here. And how did Rachel not recognize her?” _

Stepping out of the elevator, she walks towards the reception desk - “Over there Dr. Press. “ 

“Thank you Rachel. Just call me Christen.”

Walking over to the waiting lounge, Christen freezes for a second looking at a person sitting, almost laying on the sofa. That person is playing on their phone. 

“No wonder nobody knows who you are.” - Tobin is wearing a pair of sweatpants, a white sweatshirt, a mask, glasses and a snapback. She does not look anything like the Tobin Heath on google. Christen realizes she hasn’t moved at all. It’s been almost a month since she last saw the soccer player. Tobin has no idea how much these people around  **her** , especially Lindsey, talk about the Thorns and her. Christen honestly feels quite happy with this surprise.

“Are you crazy? Why didn’t you just call me? People WILL recognize you here.” - Christen says with her furrowed brows.

Tobin looks up at that familiar voice, she smiles at  **her** . - “It’s quite cold out, I wanted to go up but they didn’t let me.” Christen can only see her smiley eyes.

“Where did you park? Let’s go out there.”

“It’s windy. We can stay here.”

“Let’s go.” - Christen says without giving Tobin a chance to argue.

Tobin puts the heater on max, turns to Christen and asks - “Are you cold?”

It takes all her courage but she leans over and takes Christen’s hands into hers, blowing them slightly to keep warm. Maybe because she misses Christen so much. She just got back from the national team camp in Florida. Might or might not have some alcohol in the system. She was at a friends’ place earlier. Holding  **her** hands for the first time, Tobin feels an electric sensation rushing through her body. Christen’s hands are so soft and smooth, perfectly fit in her hands.

“I don’t know all the places you’ve lived in the last 5 years but Portland’s weather is super random. Make sure you always have something warm clothes with you.” - Tobin says with a worried face.

Christen is still a little shocked by the gesture but doesn’t pull back, Tobin keeps rubbing  **her** hands and blowing on them.  **She** is blushing. Tobin’s hands are really warm and feel really nice on  **hers** . She is too focused with the hands that she totally did not hear what Tobin said.

“Why are you here?” - She says, leaving her hands there for Tobin to hold.

“When I texted you, I was actually in front of your apartment. I thought you were already asleep so I left then I got your text so I just drove over here.” - Tobin says making eye contact with  **her** \- “It’s been a long time...I miss you.”

Even though she doesn’t do or make Christen do anything uncomfortable, Tobin doesn’t hesitate to say those things anymore. 

“When did you get back? Did you drink?” - She can smell the alcohol.

“I just got back this morning. I only had a couple of drinks with some of the teammates at dinner.” - Tobin quickly explains, afraid that Christen doesn’t like the fact that she drank before coming here. Christen can’t help but laugh.

“Why are you so scared of me? I didn’t do anything.”

“Well I don’t want you to think I drink all the time. I just do it sometimes.”

“You should give up smoking though. That’s not good.” - She remembers when Tobin was smoking, hasn’t really noticed if she still does.

“I know. I gave it up a long time ago. When you were still in Jersey. Don’t worry.”

“Really? I definitely saw you smoking a few times.” - Christen argues.

“...”

“See?”

“No for real. I haven’t smoked in years. I only did it when my head was overwhelmed with things. It wasn’t easy though. I think I only went back like twice. Don’t hate me...I don’t smoke anymore.” - Tobin says, her voice is like a kid being caught in a naughty act.

“Why would I hate you? It’s your health. You have to take care of it. Especially being a pro athlete.”

“Well because you said you hated cigarettes. I only did it during that time because I felt like everything was so out of my control. I’m not doing it anymore. I promise.”

Christen stares at her for a while. First, she definitely doesn’t remember saying that. Second, was it because of her that Tobin smoked again?

“Well, so I had one when I found out you were leaving, and I had one when you were back. I just didn’t know how to deal with it. Too many feelings at the same time. Those are the two times.” - So she gave up smoking for  **her** and went back to smoking because of  **her** . Tobin Heath has not failed to surprise her and make her feel so touched.

Resting  **her** back on the seat with  **her** eyes closed and sometimes opening them. Tobin no longer rubs her hands but now she holds onto them tightly, not letting them go. Their hands fit together so perfectly. Christen feels so comfortable and protected. She is exhausted from today. Now with that someone holding her hands, she just wants to fall asleep, letting that same someone take care of everything. She doesn’t want to let go herself. It seems like the longer she hangs out with Tobin, the clearer her feelings are.

“You tired? I got some food, some energy drinks and protein shakes. I can’t imagine being on call all the time, take care of yourself.”

“You are probably exhausted too. Get some sleep. I’m gonna go inside.”

“When do you finish tomorrow? Can I pick you up?” - Tobin says, still hasn’t let go of  **her** hands.

“Yeah, you can come at 7am.”

“Okay, I’ll be there.” - Tobin grins. “Here you go. Don’t forget to eat. If not, drink one of those. It helps.”

As Christen starts opening the door, Tobin quickly steps out of the car and goes to the other side to meet  **her** . “Cold? Here you go.” - Tobin says and takes off her sweatshirt, revealing a thin t-shirt inside. She takes the bag from Christen and gives the sweatshirt to her.

“Thank you. Go in the car. People will see you.” - Christen smiles and jogs lightly towards the entrance, doesn’t want people to notice the soccer player.

Tobin stands there until Christen disappears behind the door, she starts the car and yells “WOO HOO” to herself with a big grin on her face. When she is about to fall asleep, someone sends her a text goodnight that makes her feel so happy inside.

\---

“Yeah, I’m off the entire weekend.” - Christen says stepping into the elevator with her two co-workers. - “I’m going to the main entrance.”

“Isn’t your car in the garage?” - Emily asks, pressing the letter G in the elevator.

“No, I’m too tired to drive. I feel like I’m hallucinating.”

“Then we’ll take you home.”

“Uh yeah...my..friend is actually picking me up.”

“What friend?” - Lindsey asks, squinting her eyes towards Christen.

“Oh Linds, I forgot to tell you. Remember last night? She didn’t eat with us?. Somebody brought her food and drinks...and thennnn, she came back wearing this super comfy sweaty.” - Emily says with a smirk. Christen was being attacked with questions by this girl last night when she came up.

“It’s not a big deal.” - Christen can feel her face is getting warm from the teasing. 

“Let’s go down and see Ems. I want to see this “friend””

“Omg…” - Christen rolls her eyes. “Ding”...too late to stop them now.

“Let’s go. What kind of car?” - Lindsey and Emily start walking with their arms linked, like they are on a mission, leaving Christen behind. She hopes Tobin doesn’t stand outside to wait for her. If it wasn’t Tobin Heath, she wouldn’t care as much. She cannot imagine these two’s reactions if they find out. As soon as she exits the entrance, she sees the silver VW car driving towards them. It’s during the day, there is no way Tobin wants to be seen.

“That car? Tinted windows or something? Can’t see anything inside.”

“Oh wow nice car.”

“Alright that’s enough. Byeee. Please go home.”

Christen quickly opens the door, but intentionally just opens enough so that those nosy girls can’t see inside. Welcoming her is Tobin’s biggest smile and the warmth from the heater. Tobin looks much more alive now than last night.

“What happened?”

“They are curious about you.” - Christen says, blaming her for  **her** stress for the last 10 minutes. 

“Me?” - She asks surprisingly.

“No, not that, but the person that keeps sending me stuff. Everytime something arrives, they torture me with questions.” - Christen says with an eye roll.

“You don’t like it?”

“Not that I don’t like it. I already know your feelings. You don’t need to do all that.” - Christen says with a yawn. She is exhausted.

One hand on the wheel, one hand adjusting the seat for  **her** on her screen so she can sleep more comfortably.  **She** must be really tired. 

\---

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” - Christen jumps up, realizing she is still in Tobin’s car which is parked in front of her apartment building. She has no idea how long she slept but it was quite a good one. Christen runs her hand through her hair and adjusts her clothes. Hopefully she didn’t snore...that would be so embarrassing.

“Oh I saw that you were out so I didn’t want to wake you up.” - Tobin says with a grin. She was reading on her phone when Christen opened her eyes.

“T...hank you for picking me up...I’m gonna go.” - Christen points towards the building. She needs to get out of here. Her face is getting red.

“Christen..” - Tobin quickly grabs her arm as she is opening the door. Tobin’s hand is so warm. Still the same smile and that gaze. Christen feels a rush of butterflies in her stomach. What is Tobin Heath doing to her?

“Tonight, I’ll wait for you here. Let’s go eat?” - Tobin says making eye contact with  **her** . Then she turns around to grab her purse and another paper bag. Christen totally forgets she has a purse.

“I know you are exhausted so you probably won’t be doing any cooking so I bought some breakfast for you. Eat first before you go back to sleep. You look really cute. I...really want to kiss you, but it’s maybe not the right time...You can go now.”

\---

When Christen wakes up, it’s 6:00pm. Everything is so quiet and her apartment is covered in darkness. She walks straight to the kitchen for a glass of water. She is still in her bathrobe. She was so tired after the shower that she didn’t even bother to change. She can feel her stomach screaming but she doesn’t want to eat anything before dinner with Tobin. But also her body is shaking so she opens a jar of peanut butter and eats the rest of the fruits she got in the fridge.

She has about an hour to get ready. It would be enough if she knew in advance the dress code, where they were going. Now she is standing in front of her closet just staring. What would be suitable for this date….NO...just a dinner. Dresses probably aren't the best option given the weather. She doesn’t care enough to sacrifice her warmth to be sexy or whatever. She is sure Tobin feels the same.

“But why didn’t she tell me where we are going. It would be soooo much easier.” - Christen says to herself. Maybe she is trying to deny, or perhaps she didn’t realize, the fact that it’s not where, it’s WHOM she is going with.

Putting on her shoes, she speed walks to the elevator, she is alright 15 minutes late. She needs to get herself together. This morning was so embarrassing. She needs redemption right now. She is wearing a pair of skinny jeans that really shows the curve in her legs with Tobin’s sweatshirt covered by her trench coat. It’s not that she doesn’t have other sweatshirts to wear but she likes this one. She likes the smell of it too, It smells like Tobin Heath…

When she exits the entrance, she spots Tobin Heath leaning on her car with her arms crossed on the chest. She is wearing black jeans with a black sweatshirt, a beanie and some boots. Christen can’t deny her attractiveness. As she is walking towards the soccer player, Tobin starts grinning.

“I’m so sorry. I’m late.” - Christen apologizes.

“It’s all good. I don’t care...I really thought you were mad at me, didn’t want to go eat anymore.” - Tobin starts the car.

“Why would I be mad at you? I am the one who was late.” - Christen asks with her brows furrowed.

“Ah, be..because this morning I said I wanted to kiss you so I thought you were mad at me.” - Tobin says with hesitance then comes the awkward silence.

This morning Christen did get a little surprised when she heard it. It was the most intimate thing Tobin ever said to her. But Christen was too busy feeling embarrassed to care.

“Did you really think so?” - Christen turns to the driver. She feels quite happy that Tobin really cares about what she thinks. If Christen doesn’t like it, she doesn’t do it.

“It doesn’t bother me. I overslept. That’s why I was late.” - Christen turns to look at the street, she is blushing again.

“Really? I did really think that. What did you do when you got home?” - Christen notices Tobin’s grin.

“I ate then slept until 6.” - She says, the air between them is no longer awkward.

“What are you feeling? Japanese? Chinese? Burgers? Italian?”

“What about you? You are not worried you are gonna be seen?”

“No I’m not. Don’t worry.”

“I can go for some sushi.”

“Sure. Whatever you want.” - Tobin says softly, she is in a very good mood.

“Since when did you turn into such a smooth talker?” - Christen teases with a chuckle.

“No I’m serious. I will do whatever you want me to do.”

“...”

“Please give me some more time. I’m just getting to know my own feelings. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t like you but I definitely don’t want to be with you if I’m not 100% sure. That would not be fair for you.” - Christen says, playing with her hands. She really means what she just said. She knows there is a significant change in her. She stops explaining when Lindsey and Emily tease her about the gifts. She thinks about Tobin all the time. Whenever she has time, she would watch videos of Tobin playing soccer. She wants to give Tobin what she deserves.

“Chris, look at me.” - She feels Tobin’s hand on her, intertwining them. She looks up and meets that infectious smile. It makes  **her** smile too…

“Take as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew Grey's Anatomy would come in handy at some point LOL.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading again. Love the comments :)


	10. In Love?

“Are you dating someone? Who are you texting?” - Tyler says sipping on the water. She looks at her sister with annoyance. Not that she cares Christen is ignoring her, she cares about Tobin Heath more.

“Just putting it out here..I don’t like anyone but Tobin Heath to be my sister in law.” - Tyler stares at her sister. 

“What’s wrong with you? Who I’m dating is my business.” - Christen responds. Why is her sister being pushy?

“Honestly I don’t understand how you can just ignore her like that. I don’t think you will ever find anyone that cares for you as much as Tobin Heath does. When you were overseas, everytime we met, she kept asking me about you. Everytime. Always missed you.” - Tyler goes off. She cannot understand her sister.

“You know she did ask me about your address in Belgium when she was in France. Not sure what she was doing with it. Meanwhile, the person she loves sitting here texting someone else.” - Tyler scoffs.

As soon as Tyler finishes, the restaurant’s front door is pushed open, there comes the person she’s been trying to help.

“What took you so long?”

“I’m sorry. I got training. Then I had to take a shower. Didn’t want to be here all sweaty.” - Tobin says with a laugh. She comes closer and gives Tyler a tight hug. It’s been a long time.

Christen shakes her head watching the scene - “ You guys are like a couple.”

“I’m serious about what I said.” - Tyler says, making a serious face towards her sister.

“You don’t have to worry about me. You don’t know anything.” - Christen scoffs.

“What happened? What are you guys arguing about?” - Tobin asks. She takes a seat right next to Christen, who is focusing on the menu. Tyler squints her eyes looking at what's happening in front of her. So nobody wants to answer Tobin’s question.

“Nothing...Ty, order whatever you want. You are the guest. We come here all the time” - Christen says. _'We'_

When Tyler is busy ordering food, Tobin turns to the girl who is sitting next to her. She puts her elbow on the table, her hand holding a fist to support her face, bringing all her attention to **her.**

“Did you pick Tyler up from the airport and drive straight here? Are you guys ok? Did she annoy you?” - Tobin asks curiously.

“No, we came back to my apartment for a bit and then came here. I was busy texting, ignoring her so she was like that.” - Christen answers, putting her phone away, paying attention to the girl next to her as well.

Following the waitress’ eyes towards the two people across from her, Tyler uses her leg to kick Tobin’s under the table - “What are you guys eating?” Maybe her younger sister is right, there is something going that she doesn't know. Earlier, she couldn’t hide her surprise when Tobin sat down right next to her sister, not feeling shy or anything. Christen perhaps is not as cold as she thinks.

“You can order whatever you want but just get Chris an order of Teriyaki Chicken. That’s her favorite.” - Tobin says shyly. She was too focused on Christen, totally forgetting the presence of the other people.

“For whom?” - Tyler mocks. Not everyone calls her sister Chris. Now she is wondering how close these two are now.

“Ah...Christen, my sister.” - She says in a low voice, enough for the other two to hear. She is not letting this go. Can't believe they didn't tell her.

After finishing the order, Tyler sits back comfortably, observing the two people in front of her. “You guys are sitting very close to each other huh?”

Tobin suddenly moves a little away while Christen has no reaction. She knows her sister. She is not easily affected like the person next to her.

“So what time did you get here? How was the flight?” - Tobin asks, chuggin the entire glass of water.

“9 this morning. It was long and boring. I can’t wait for the Thorns game.” - Tyler says excitedly.

Three of them have a great time together at dinner, laughing and teasing. 

\---

“You gotta go in for training in two hours right? You wanna go to Waterfront Park? “ - Christen looks at her with a smile.

“Why? You usually have something to think about when you want to go there. Something happened?” - One hand is on the steering wheel, one hand is holding  **her** hand. Acoustic music in the background. She knows Christen has something in her mind.

“No, I just...want to get some fresh air. I think Tyler being here makes me miss home a little.” - Christen signs. Too many thoughts, too many feelings. Now she is thinking about what Tobin did with her address in Belgium.

“Off season is coming up. I don’t think we start camp until next year. We can make a trip to Jersey if you want. What about those 5 years overseas? Were you homesick at all?” - Christen chuckles hearing Tobin’s questions.

“My parents made a trip to Greece when I was there one year. And honestly I was so busy that I didn’t have time to think about it.”

“So it was a good decision not going home for 5 years?” - Tobin asks, remembering that was a difficult time for her.

“Yeah well I wasn’t really traveling you know. I worked non stop. It was good. I think if I hadn’t gotten it out of my system then, I might have stayed overseas longer.”

“So was that your plan all along? To travel for a certain amount of years? I remember Tyler telling me you might even settle somewhere. I was scared.” - Tobin turns around facing  **her** .

“Well it used to be my dream. Just to live somewhere else in the world but as I grow older, I like it here. Though it’s far away from home, it’s still much closer.” - Christen wants to change the subject. She was actually quite determined during college that she would live overseas. Not sure what changed for her. She just knows that something inside her kept telling her she needed to come home. 

“If you have the chance, I’ll take you to the places I’ve lived. They are amazing. Did you get to travel when you were in France last year?”

“Ah yeah..I did visit some neighbouring countries…” - There is no light in the car so Christen sees Tobin's face right now.

“Belgium is beautiful.”

“I know.” - Tobin smirks.

_ ‘She knows? What does that mean?’ _

“Maybe we should go to the movie after training if you aren’t too tired.”

“You are inviting me?” - Tobin asks surprisingly. Christen never asked her to go out. This is the first time. Is it a date?

“You don’t have to.” - Christen’s brows furrow, taken back by the other girl's reaction.

“You don’t mind going out with me? People can recognize me.”

“It’s gonna be so late, nobody is going to see anyone. That’s why I suggest going after.”

“Did you do research or something?” - Tobin chuckles.

“I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go to the movie. You can say no. We don’t have to go.” - Christen’s cheeks redden. She is trying to make a move okay?

“Well of course I want to go. I just don’t want you to feel overwhelmed being seen with me.”

“Honestly I...don’t care about those things.” - Christen turns to look out the window. How slow is she? Christen is giving her the green light.

\---

Christen is waiting for Tobin in the car in the Thorns parking lot. Her phone is dead so Tobin gave her the mini iPad just in case she was bored.

She remembers the password Tobin told her for her iPad  _ “1988” _

“Tobin Heath is not romantic at all” - Christen pouts.

“1988. Really?” - Putting the numbers in, she notices a bunch of game apps on the screen but something makes her eyes open wide. The home screen is a picture of  **HER** , smiling candidly.

“Where did she get this picture?” - Christen questions. She is in shock because this picture was taken a long time ago, in black and white. Now she changes her mind. Tobin Heath is DEFINITELY romantic. No more complaining.

Recently Christen has noticed that she has changed a lot. She feels happier, doesn’t have mood swings often. Even Tobin says so. That’s why she is starting to feel more conscious about her feelings everyday. 

  
  


\--FLASHBACK--

_ “Do you guys think I have been different lately?” _

_ “I don’t know. You seem normal.” - Emily says, sucking juice from her straw. _

_ “Yeah I don’t notice anything.” - Linsdey agrees. _

_ “Well some..one told me I am different. Like in a good way.”  _

_ “Who? Your VW lover?” - Lindsey starts laughing. Ever since that day, they have not stopped teasing her. If she is eating and the phone rings, it’s the VW lover. If she is zoning out, then it’s because she is thinking out the VW lover. If she is leaving work early, it’s to go out with the VW lover. If she is annoyed, it’s definitely the VW lover. Everything she does is VW lover related. _

_ “Ah..no...no..It’s someone else.” - Christen stutters. _

_ “Welp. That just gave it away. She hasn’t been denying it. Now she is. Interesting.” - Emily says then reaches over to high five the other girl. - “OMG your face is like a tomato.” _

_ Even if Emily is lying, Christen is burying her face into her hands. There is no way to deny it because it’s true.  _

_ “I’ll tell you something, based on my experience. Two words.” - Emily suddenly becomes serious. _

_ “What two words?” - Christen is also serious. _

_ “In love?”- Lindsey says, raising her eyebrows. Emily gives her the nod. _

_ “Yep. You are in love.” _

_ “I can’t believe you are hiding it from us. I am still curious about that VW lover. This person’s gotta be head over heels for you.” _

_ While those two are busy discussing and writing Christen’s romantic love story, Christen is just slowly absorbing the information she just received, ‘ is she in love?’ It’s not like she never fell in love before but how did she not realize it and somebody else has to tell her. She’s in love with Tobin Heath? She is not shocked that it happened but since when…. _

_ “Don’t believe it? Now that you said it, I realize you have been laughing a lot more, your face is glowing, you're talking more…”  _

_ “No not that...it’s just...I don’t know. It’s not like I had never been in love you know? How do I not know?” _

_ “I mean I don’t think all relationships are created equal. There are different ways to Love. Everyone falls in love differently.” _

_ “We should celebrate.” - Emily says, wiggling her eyebrows. _

\--END FLASHBACK--

Even though she is aware of it now, but it seems like the other girl still has no idea.

Christen turns on the camera mode and takes a few selfies, then chooses the one she likes to put it as Tobin’s new homescreen. 

\---

“Hey Tobs, why are you rushing? Having a date?”

Tobin is always known for her hard chill, always takes her time, never rushes anywhere. Now she is basically sprinting out the door after the shower.

“Gotta go. Good job everyone. See ya.” - Tobin says, waving her hand in the air.

“Must be someone important. She’s been doing that a lot lately.”

\---

“Did you choose the movie yet?”

“No not yet, I can look it up.”

“Sure. I don’t really have an opinion. I’ll watch whatever you pick.”

Christen rolls her eyes at Tobin, but feels happy inside. - “Here, what do you think?” - She shows Tobin the new home screen picture. - “I took a different one for you. But how did you get those pictures anyway?”

“Tyler might have shared those with me, a long time ago. I think I have all your pictures.”

“Omg. You guys are so creepy.” - Now that she thinks about it, she has no idea where all her pictures are. She also has no idea how many pictures she has but she knows it’s a lot.

“I don’t have everything in there. I keep them at home. They are fun to look at sometimes. Remember that one picture of you dancing at Tyler’s Hawaii theme birthday? You got some moves. What happened?"

“You…” - Christen turns to slap Tobin on the shoulder while the other girl cannot contain her laugh. Unbelievable. She can’t believe her sister is a traitor. She is going to kill her. She buries her face in her hands. This is so embarrassing. Her image is ruined. She just wanted to be like her older sister, who gave all her embarrassing pictures to the one person who has the biggest crush on her.

“That’s it. Take me home. No movies. Let’s go.” - Christen all of a sudden gets serious which makes Tobin stops laughing immediately. She just wants to tease Christen a little.

“I’m sorry Chris. I shouldn't have done that. It’s my fault. Let’s go to the movies. It’s almost time.” - Tobin runs her hand up and down on Christen’s arm, trying to calm her down. 

“I’m sorry okay...don’t be mad. I’m really excited for the movie. It’s the first time we go to the cinema together.” - Christen starts to calm down. She is not mad. She is embarrassed. It seems like Tobin knows her place now.

“Fine…”- Christen nods, doesn’t know what else to say. Her face is still hot.

\---

“That was actually quite good. It’s been a while since I watched something decent.” - Christen’s mood changes after the movie.

“I’ll take you to the movies again soon.” - Tobin is also happy seeing the other girl so happy.

“I got a friend...she is like obsessed with going to the movies. I’m pretty sure she’s watched everything that ever came out but she would not go by herself. So when we were in college, I was always being dragged to the movie theater with her.”

“Your friend in California?”

“Yeah we met in college and became really close. We still talk all the time. Whenever she comes up, you’ll meet her. Well she kinda knows about you.”

“How? Did you say I was your girlfriend?” - Tobin asks with a smirk. Ever since Tobin told her she would wait as long as she had to, she hasn’t mentioned “girlfriends” at all. They are on the way back to Christen’s place now and chatting comfortably with each other. Tobin decides this is a good time to make the next step.

“What do you mean? I just said I know a famous person like you. She is a big fan of pro soccer too.” - Tobin is definitely not wrong, she might have told Kelley Tobin was her girlfriend. She is definitely not going to admit that.

They are now parked in front of Christen’s apartment building. Christen’s blushing. Her cheeks are red. Before Tobin realizes what she is doing, her hand is on Christen’s cheek. Her thumb moves slowly on her skin. Tobin turns Christen’s face towards her, their eyes lock into each other. Christen feels the urge to look away from that emotional gaze. Nobody says a word. It’s like their eyes are saying it all. Tobin slowly shifts her eyes to Christen's nose and then to those lips that are shaking a little. She leans in a little.

Christen’s heart is beating out of her chest. She feels an electric shock running through her body when their lips meet. Neither of them is moving, just leaving their lips there, feeling each other’s presence. Even though Tobin initiated it, she now freezes. This is so overwhelming for her. It’s like she’s finally able to release all the emotions of the last 5 years to the world.

“Hey...it’s just me” - Christen reaches her hands up, cupping Tobin’s face. She kisses Tobin one more time then pulls her in for a hug.

“Let’s date.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it comesssssss. Not sure if you are ready for it. I am still not LOL. Enjoy. Keep the comments coming!!


	11. Love

Christen wonders who is at her apartment. Only a few people in Portland know where she lives. She opens the door and Tobin Heath is standing there with her hands in her pockets. Christen is so surprised that she just stands there and stares at her. A few seconds ago she just saw some videos from their January training camp. Tobin looks exhausted. She told Christen about camps before. Even though they usually have a lot of time to chill, during training it’s a very competitive environment. You always have to be on your A game. Christen steps aside so her girlfriend can walk in. Tobin quickly pulls Christen in for a kiss and hugs her tight.

“I miss you.”

“You look exhausted.” - Christen holds Tobin’s face with two hands, takes a good look at the soccer player then puts her arms around Tobin again, rests her head on the shoulder.

They stay there for a while then lean in for another kiss. It's slow and passionate. They miss each other so much. Christen wants Tobin to feel her emotions as she is absorbing all the soccer player’s into her body. She enjoys kissing Tobin because it’s like she is bringing Christen into a whole different world, the world with just two of them.

“What were you doing?” - Tobin asks, following her girlfriend inside the apartment.

“Just scrolling through my phone. I was literally just watching the camp’s videos on Twitter when you knocked.” 

“Your apartment is so cozy. I was looking at one over here when I first moved here too but the other one is more convenient for me.”

Tobin wanders around curiously. She stops at a shelf where the doctor keeps some of her equipment. There are gloves, masks and some surgery tools. “Why do you keep these things here Chris?” - Tobin raises her eyebrows looking at the tools.

“What things?” - Christen says, still not looking up from her computer.

“Knives, scissors and stuff..”

“Ah those are not the real ones we use at the hospital. They are just samples.” 

“Ah…”- Now Tobin approaches her girlfriend’s bedroom. As soon as Tobin stepped in her place, she could smell Christen’s scent everywhere. Now standing in front of her girlfriend's bedroom, she can smell the smell she had been missing even more. 

“Can I go into your bedroom?” - Tobin says a little louder so her girlfriend can hear. It's Christen's personal space, she doesn’t want to intrude.

“You can do whatever you want Tobs.”

Tobin feels like this kind of takes their relationship to the next step. Stepping inside her bedroom, Tobin feels her cheeks get warmer thinking that her girlfriend is sleeping in here every night.

“Tobs, I gotta go grocery shopping. Do you want to just take a nap on my bed?” - Christen’s sudden appearance makes Tobin jump up a little.

“You don’t want me to go with you?”

“First of all, you just had a really long flight. You look exhausted.” - Christen says with determination.

“Second, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go with me in the supermarket. It’s Saturday, people are out and about. Just stay here and take a nap. I’ll be back soon. Don’t argue.” - Christen insists, leaving no room for argument.

“Okay fine but I’m not sleeping here. Too dangerous. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“OMG. That’s your own fault. I don’t know if I want to know what’s in your head.”

“What do you mean? I'm so innocent.” - Tobin grabs Christen’s arm, pulls her closer for a soft kiss. - “ Hurry and come back to me.”

Christen kicks her apartment's door open as quietly as possible. Except for the light at the door, the entire apartment is covered in darkness. She puts all her groceries on the counter, turns on the light in the kitchen.

“She did really sleep out here huh?” - Christen chuckles, leaning over the counter and observing the person who is sleeping on her couch. She thought Tobin was joking about not sleeping in her bed but she was serious. Tobin has changed her outside clothes out. Now she is just in a pair of shorts and t-shirt. Christen has not really seen her legs up close. They look muscular and strong…” _Those calves.._.. _ Kinda hot.” _ Meanwhile, the soccer player is passed out. She hasn't moved an inch. She is definitely taking advantage of all the pillows around her. One under her head, two supporting her legs, and she is hugging one on her chest as well. Christen goes into her room and grabs a blanket. She puts it on her girlfriend and sits there looking at her. ‘ _ I missed you a lot too Tobin Heath.’ _

Christen used to hate cooking but thanks to those years overseas, she had to force herself to learn. She couldn’t just eat out all the time. Now her cooking skills are on a different level. She wasn’t sure what to make tonight. Thankfully, Tobin is not picky at all. Everytime they go out, she always lets Christen decide where to go. But everyone has a favorite dish. She feels a little guilty because she doesn’t know everything about her girlfriend.

_ “The fish look fresh huh?” - Christen turns her head towards the voice. It’s a woman about her age who lives across from her apartment. They both are standing in front of the fish section. _

_ “Yeah they look really good. You here by yourself?” - Christen answers with a smile. They said hello a few times. _

_ “No, my wife is over there. What about you? Married? Single?” _

_ “No...I’m not married...I’m just here by myself.” - Christen answers. Her face is blushing, the thought of Tobin Heath sleeping at her place appears in her head. _

“Yeah..kinda feel like a housewife” - Christen chuckles and remembers the conversation with her neighbor earlier. The image of Tobin laying there on her coach makes her feel so warm inside. She isn’t really surprised that she agreed to date Tobin so quickly. It comes when it comes. Her love is nothing compared to the soccer player’s but she had never made such effort in any of her previous relationships. She wants to be there with Tobin, on the same level. She is so thankful that Tobin didn’t give up on her, especially during those 5 years. She knows it wasn’t easy. She never wanted anyone all to herself as much as she wants Tobin now. No pressure, no forcing, it’s just that she might be head over heels in love.

“Tobs, wake up.” - Christen shakes Tobin’s arm slightly, leans in for a quick peck. She turns the lights up in the living room and opens the curtain. The sky is pitch black. She hurries back to the kitchen to check the soup she is making.

Tobin turns her body, uses the pillow to cover her face, trying to hide from the shining lights. The last few weeks, she had been under so much stress from the camp, physically and emotionally. Her body feels like jello. She passed out as soon as she lied down. After a while, she starts opening her eyes. She puts the pillow back on her face, takes a deep breath inhaling the scent, Christen’s, from the pillow one more time. She looks around but her girlfriend is nowhere to be found.

“Chris, where are you?"

“In the kitchen, i left a toothbrush and a towel in my bathroom for you.” 

“Did you just get back?”

“No, I got back a while ago. Go freshen up so we can eat.”

Running her hands through her messy hair, Tobin walks towards the kitchen. She slept for 3 hours. She stops right in front of the counter. The image of Christen wearing an apron, her hair is in a bun, turning left and right, the table is all set up, she is so focused on cooking that she has no idea someone is staring at her. Tobin’s eyes start getting teary. She is so lucky. 

“Gosh, you scared me.” - Christen jumps up when the certain someone hugs her from behind, buries her head into Christen’s neck, leaves some soft kisses on her skin. 

“Tobs...Tobin...you okay?” - Christen leans back trying to find her girlfriend’s face. Tobin just keeps holding her tight, kissing her from one place to another.

“Go wash your face. DInner is ready.” - Not waiting for Tobin to respond, she continues “Hurry, I’m hungry.” - gives Tobin a kiss on the cheek.

“Chicken noodles soup? My favorite! How did you know?” - Tobin asks, takes a seat at the dining table. 

“You like it? I remember that one time I made it at home and when you came over, Tyler made you have some and you said it was your favorite.” - Christen looks at Tobin. She looks much more alive now. 

“Well that’s why I like it?” - Tobin says.

“Yeah maybe.” - Christen laughs.

\---

“What should we do tomorrow?” - They both are in the living room. The TV is on but they don’t seem to pay any attention. Tobin is sitting against the couch, letting Christen lay in front of her, her arms are around Christen’s waist, eating whatever fruits Christen puts in her mouth. Tobin tightens her arms around Christen’s waist, her head rests on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Every so often, she leans forward and kisses Christen’s cheeks. Compared with people who just start dating, they are moving fast. The touches, the kisses, the makeout sessions. Except for the fact they have not had sex yet, it looks like they have been dating for forever. And it’s not like Tobin can no longer control herself. She has already been given the green light.

“What do you want to do?” - Of course, it’s Tobin Heath. She always lets Christen decide.

“Um...How about we go to your place? We can go out for dinner later. I haven’t been to your house.” - Christen suggests, her head rests on Tobin’s chest.

“Sure. We can do whatever you want.”

“Stop spoiling me like that.”

“Nah, I like spoiling you.”

“You…”

“What about me?”

“So different. Five years ago, didn’t matter what, wouldn’t say a word. And now, you say anything and everything.”

“Well five years ago it was different, now it’s different. I wasn’t allowed to do this.” - Tobin turns to grab Christen’s face and gives her a long soft kiss. “Now...I can do it whenever I want.”

Christen shakes her head, starts laughing. She turns and lands a playful swat on her arm.

“But why didn’t you say anything to me, when I was in Jersey for like 2 months?” - Christen leans back, puts on her weight on Tobin, her hand is playing with the remaining fruits on the plate.

“I...hmmm. I don’t know. I just feel like it’s because I didn’t have any confidence, especially when I was around you. The first time I saw you walking out of the house, I was gone. You were pretty, successful and I was just....just a soccer player who barely made any money. When I got called up to the national team, I thought of you. I thought maybe when I got better, I would have a better chance with you. Even though I had no idea if you were going to be back. You deserve all the best and I couldn’t really give you that at the time.”

Christen listens to Tobin’s soft voice. Not complaining, not blaming, Tobin just tells her how it was back then. Christen feels Tobin’s arms get tighter around her waist. Her eyes are looking out the balcony. Her warm, soft voice carries Christen back to 6 years ago. A shy, introverted, kinda cute stranger stood in front of her house. Christen’s hand finds her hand and intertwines them.

“Well because of exactly that...how you were so shy and barely talked to me but would always try to protect me, it caught my attention. I didn’t understand why you were like that. ‘ _ Am I not good enough for her to talk to me?’  _ I thought. Then I started thinking how I was gonna get you to talk. I tried to talk to you first, wore sexier clothes. But you would always blame Tyler. I honestly don’t know what you were thinking. Don’t do that again. If I love you, I don’t care who you are, what you do, how much money you have. Even if people don’t approve, I won’t ever let you go.”

Right when she finishes, their eyes meet. All the thoughts, feelings that were never mentioned before. They lean into each other. It is the sweetest kiss they have ever had.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

\---

“Alright go home. Tomorrow just text me, I'll come down so you don’t have to come up.”

“Okay. Go inside. Sweet dreams.”

“Good night, text me when you get home please.” - Grabbing the blanket around her body, Christen smiles in the dark. Finally Tobin Heath is back after three weeks away. They barely talked, just a few texts here and there. They were both busy. Christen knows they might not be going on dates like other couples. Maybe just at night or not crowded places but she knows they can do it.

[Tobin] - Good night baby

[Christen <3] - Good night <3

\---

Ever since she woke up this morning, Christen has been doing work around the house non stop. She presses the start button on the washing machine, she hopes they will be done before Tobin gets here. She takes a quick glance at the to do list on her fridge, lets out a long sign. She still has a bunch of things to do. She usually uses her day off to do all the chores but now that she has a girlfriend, time seems to be getting shorter and shorter. Grabs her phone, Christen sends her girlfriend a text [Call me when you are up]. She needs to re organize today’s plans.

Tobin calls her a few minutes after. Usually she is not a morning person, why is she up so early?

“Hi, did I wake you up?” 

“Uhm, what happened? Why are you up so early?” - Christen can hear Tobin’s sleeping voice on the other end. It makes her smile.

“I have a bunch of things to do around the house. When you come, just come up. Don’t buy breakfast. I just wanted to tell you that. Go back to sleep.”

“Okay got it. If you need anything, text me.”

“Okay, go back to sleep. If you show up early, I’m not letting you in”

“Okayyyy.” - Tobin chuckles. It’s like Christen knows her intention already. 

Of course, Tobin Heath shows up at her door half an hour later when she is vacuuming the entire house.

“You didn’t listen to me. Why are you here so early?” - Christen says, standing at the door, hands on hips.

“Well I tried but couldn’t fall back asleep. I was afraid you wouldn’t let me in so I waited for a few minutes before coming up.” - Tobin grins, puts one hand on the door, the other pulls Christen closer for a morning kiss. - “Can I come in?”

“You are an idiot. I was joking. How long did you wait for? Go sit on the couch, legs up. I’m almost done vacuuming then we can make breakfast.” - Christen says, pushing Tobin into the house.

“Why are you cleaning so early today?”

“Urg...I usually do a few things everyday when I get home from work but last week was so crazy so everything piled up. And If i don’t do it now, I won’t be able to hang out with you.”

“Can I help? I can’t just be hanging out by myself here.”

“Watch TV.” - Christen says, throwing the remote to her. - “Or go in my room and get my laptop and play some games. I’m almost done.” Christen continues with her task. If she doesn’t get it done, she is going to go crazy.

“Baby, what else do you need to do?” - Christen feels a rush of butterflies in her stomach when she hears “baby.” Tobin is too busy on her phone, suddenly turns around and her girlfriend is gone.

“Just a few more things. What are you doing?"

“I'm gonna go make coffee. Cream, two spoons of sugar in yours? You haven’t had one have you?”

“How do you know?”

“I know everything about the woman I love the most.”

“Omg, where do you learn these lines from?”

One person is in the kitchen, one person is in the guestroom, just going back and forth with each other. Tobin is laughing out loud. Christen is blushing but also smilin at Tobin’s comment.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“You should get me the same coffee mug.”

“Why?”

“Well so we can be matching. I’ll get you one at my place too so whenever you come over, you can use it.”

“You like that? Didn’t know Tobin Heath liked sappy stuff? - Christen snorts. She doesn’t care much as long as they are happy together.

“Well why not? It’s not like I do it with a random person. It’s you.”

“In the cupboard next to the microwave, there are two new ones. You can use them. Wash them first.”

“You already bought some?” - Tobin asks surprisingly. Christen lets out a chuckle.

“The other day I went past the store and saw them. Those are my favorite. I thought maybe you could have one too.”

“What do you want to eat?”

“Whatever. Check my fridge to see what’s in there.”

\---

“Here’s your key.” - Tobin hands Christen a key.

“For what? Your place?” - Christen looks at it, asks surprisingly. She hasn’t even seen her girlfriend’s house yet.

“Yeah, so whenever you come, you don’t have to wait for me. I only have two.” - Tobin says with a proud smile.

Before Christen can say anything, Tobin takes the key out of her hand and says: “Here I’ll show you.” She puts the key in and turns the lock. Turning around with a smirk on her face “Like that.”

“I’m not stupid.” - Christen gives Tobin a side eye, softly pushes her arm away.

“Come in.” - Tobin can’t help but laugh. She puts a hand on Christen’s back, signaling for her to come in.

“Is it safe? What if people see me coming into your apartment?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. You can come whenever you want. You are the only one with the key besides me.” Tobin lives in one of the nicest apartments in Portland. 

“I got a view of the entire city and a beautiful sunset. It’s pretty cool though I don’t get to see it very often. There are 3 bedrooms but I turned one room into a workout room. Make yourself at home. I’ll put the stuff in the kitchen.”

“Wow, I know you make decent money but I didn’t realize you are this comfortable.” - Christen says with a teasing voice. She is wandering around the house excitedly, looking at everything. Tobin has a section on the wall where she puts all her pictures.

“I got pictures of my parents and sisters here. And then these are what the fans sent me.” - Tobin says, standing right behind Christen. 

“I’m gonna steal some of these pictures of you.” - Christen turns around, her eyes meet the other girl’s.

“You like it?” - Hugging her girlfriend from behind, Tobin asks. This is one of the parts she is most proud of in her apartment.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool...but how come I didn’t make it on this wall?” - Christen frowns. There are a bunch of pictures of Tobin and other girls.

“Heyyyy...these are my teammates and friends. I don’t put my girlfriend up here.”

“Then where? You got this entire wall and you don’t even have one picture of me. You kept bragging about how you got all my pictures and here I see nothing.” - Christen says, trying to get out of her girlfriend’s embrace. 

“Oh come on….you haven’t seen everything yet. I don’t usually have guests over but sometimes there will be a few. I don’t want your pictures out here. This is just for friends and family.”

Pretending to ignore what Tobin just said, Christen continues her exploration. She feels happy inside but doesn’t want to show. That makes sense. She is not family yet but certainly not a friend either.

“Of course you got all the video games here.” 

“Yeah I play sometimes with the girls on the team”

“Is this leading to all the rooms?” 

“Yeah madam, the guest room is the first on your right. My room is after that. Gym is at the end of the hallway.” - Tobin holds up a remote near her face, pretending to be a tour guide.

Christen checks out all the rooms but leaves Tobin’s room for last. She wants to take a good look at this bedroom after reading that article about what could be in it.

“Check my room then we can go have lunch.” - Tobin says excitedly, turning the door handle.

“Hold on hold on…close it. You look suspicious. I want to clear a few things before going in there.” - Christen crosses her arms, looking straight into her girlfriend's eyes.

“So I read an article. It said you had never let anyone in your bedroom. Is that true?”

“Well there is a reason. You’ll find out.”

“Is there anything scary in there? Clown? Why do you want me to go in there so bad?”

“I sweat there is nothing. It’s always been like that. Except….I might have made my bed this morning, just for you.” - Tobin says with a serious tone, trying to convince her.

“Of course. Why am I not surprised?” - Christen rolls her eyes. She puts her hand on the door handle, mentally prepares to explore this mysterious place.

“Do not close the door. Just in case I need to run.” 

**“** Omg, there is nothing in here.” - Tobin laughs at Christen’s dramatic comment.

“Woah, nice view of the city.” - From the door, she can see the big glass window looking out at the city. Her bedroom is the biggest room of the house. 

**“** Tobin Heath, why is your bathroom see-through?” - Her bathroom is unnecessarily big, very clean and neat.

“Well nobody's gonna see anything up here.” - Toin chuckles. When she first moved in, she did feel really weird. Now, she is used to it.

“Well, maybe someone will be flying a drone around here and taking pictures of you naked.” - Christen teases.

Christen finally pays attention to her bed. It looks really comfy. What catches her attention is what’s on the wall above it. It’s a large picture of a girl. Tobin really struggled bringing that frame up here. She had to do it by herself because she didn’t want anyone to know. She chose the best picture of Christen, enlarged it and bought the best frame to put it in. All because she missed her so much. But that’s in the past, now that girl is her girlfriend. She was excited because she couldn’t wait to show Christen this. Tobin wants Christen to know how much she loves her. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading again. I love the comments. Keep them coming.


	12. I'm sorry

[Tobin] - Hi, i miss you *kiss emoji*

The buzz from the phone makes Christen jump from her seat.

[Christen <3] - Hi, I miss you too. Where are you?

[Tobin] - Just got back to the room from training. I’m so tired :( What are you doing?

[Christen <3] - *hug* I bet. Did you eat? I’m sitting in my office.

[Tobin] - *heart eyes* no, I’ll be eating soon though. When are you done?

[Christen <3] - Okay make sure you eat. Who are you rooming with? I’m on call tonight :(

[Tobin] - I willlllllllll. I’m gonna be sleeping with Allie for the next few weeks *smirk face*

[Christen <3] - Are you trying to make me jealous? You seem excited.

[Tobin] - So you are not jealous?

…

[Tobin] - helloooo...are you mad? I gotta go to dinner now. I’ll call you tomorrow okay? I love you baby.

\---

Christen is sitting on a beanbag in her living room while Tobin Heath is playing on her phone on the couch. Christen is reading some documents from the hospital and she has told Tobin not to bother her. Tobin, being antsy and active, sometimes will look up at Christen, wanting to say something but then remembers what her girlfriend told her earlier. Christen, though has not shifted her eyes up towards the other girl, can feel her eyes on her sometimes. It makes her want to laugh. This is almost mission impossible. Whenever they are around each other, it’s very rare that they are not making any physical contact.

Christen did tell Tobin earlier that she could not hang out with her tonight because she got some stuff to do. Of course, Tobin Heath volunteered to just be around. She swore that she would not bother the doctor whatsoever. She just wanted to see Christen. “ _ If you don’t let me see you, I’m gonna go crazy’ _ How could Christen say no to that? They basically see each other almost everyday, except for when Christen is on call or when Tobin is away. If not at Christen’s place, then at Tobin’s. They don’t sleep over, just simply spend some time together before going back to their place. Usually without Tobin, Christen had more time to do work. Since her girlfriend is here tonight, they cooked, ate, chatted about their day and obviously had a make out session. Christen finds it very very difficult to not want to touch Tobin. She struggles stopping a kiss, let alone staying away from cuddling or making out with this hot soccer player. Maybe this is what two people who are crazy in love are like. If Tobin doesn’t hold her hand, she has to sit right next to Christen, or has her arms around her waist. Tobin Heath who seems pretty chill and “cold” to everyone, is actually a softie.  _ “ I just want to make sure I’m not dreaming”  _ Since Christen sat there, Tobin has crawled to her for a kiss at least 4 times. First time...this is nice. Second time...okay, this is enough. Third time… a serious warning. The fourth time… this time Christen pushes her away, then stands up to walk to her room, leaves Tobin in the living room by herself. 

\---

“What’s this?” - Receiving some flowers from Tobin, Christen tries to keep a straight face. 

“Apology flowers. There is also a card.” - Tobin says, looking down at her shoes.

Christen looks at the flowers. These are her favorite. Honestly, she was really mad at her girlfriend yesterday. She didn’t even know when Tobin left. She was already feeling a lot of stress from work. Technically, it wasn’t Tobin’s fault. If Tobin didn’t come find her tonight, Christen would call her anyway.

She opens the card, wondering what Tobin wrote but it’s empty. She is about to ask her girlfriend then hears - “ Baby I’m so so so sorry. I did promise not to distract you. I won’t be like that again. I’m sorry. I love you.” Christen cannot contain her laugh anymore. Don’t people usually write what they want to say in the card? Tobin gives her a card but actually says it straight to her face? Only Tobin Heath.

“Why is it an empty card?”

“I don’t know. I was gonna write it in there but then I thought I could just tell you what I wanted to say. Plus my handwriting is awful.” - Christen laughs harder.

“When did you finish training? When did you leave last night?”

“I didn’t have training today. I know you probably didn’t want to see me last night so I left a little bit after you went to your room.”

\---

“Something happened? Why does it feel weird in here?” - Christen looks around then sits down to have lunch with her co-workers. After the surgery this morning, she finally got some time to take a short nap. She stayed out a little late with Tobin last night. Now she just got to the cafeteria, the atmosphere is a little tense. Everyone seems to be discussing something serious.

“Did you not see the news this morning?” - Emily asks surprisingly. It seems like the entire world already knows something except for her. Lindsey is focusing on her phone, reading something. Since Tobin and her started dating, Christen has made a decision that she is not going to look at social media anymore for those celebrity news.

“What’s going on with Lindsey? What is she reading?”

“Omg you seriously don’t know anything.” - Emily turns on her phone, scrolls through something and gives the phone to the doctor. “Here read. Someone caught Tobin Heath going out with a girl last night. Looks like they are dating.”

*cough cough* Christen chugs on the water she is drinking. “What? Who?” - What did she just hear? No way….

“Tobin Heath. Portland Thorns player. Lindsey’s idol. She just told me she swears she is going to find who this girl is.”

Gripping the spoon tight in her hand, Christen freezes. She can’t move. She can’t feel anything. Ignoring the fact that Emily is staring at her, she blanks out.

“Yo, are you okay?” - Emily waves her hands in front of Christen’s face. “Omg, are you a fan too?”

“No no...I’m just surprised. That’s crazy.” - Christen quickly puts some food in her mouth, pretending like it doesn’t affect her as much. She has no idea what she is eating. She cannot believe it. She should have been the first one to know, not the last. Who is that girl? Of course, it’s her, but why hasn’t anyone reacted differently when they see her today? Maybe they didn’t see her face. She lets out a relief sign and checks her phone in her pocket. She hasn’t gotten any text or call from her girlfriend.

“So do they know who that girl was, Ems?” - Christen asks after pulling herself together.

“No, only saw the back. The press is releasing some crazy stuff. Lindsey said the fans are looking.”

Christen looks at Emily’s phone again. It’s a picture of them standing in front of Tobin’s car. Her back is facing whoever took the picture. Good thing she had a hoodie on. Tobin was standing in front of her, grinning widely. She remembers it because her girlfriend was teasing her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well to find out her name and stuff. Since they can’t see the face, nobody knows. People say it’s gotta be a soccer player. Tobin is very close with a bunch of them on the national team.” 

“No, I don’t think that girl is on the national team” - Putting her phone away, Lindsey finally joins the conversation.

“Really? How do you know?” - Emily asks curiously while Christen sits still, holding her breath. There is no way they would find out that fast.

“One of my friends told me. She knows some crazy fans who know everything about Tobin. Who knows? Maybe some of them already know who that girl was.”

“W..who? What does she do?” - Christen tries to keep her calm. 

“She didn’t say but sooner or later, we’ll find out.”

“Well what are you guys gonna do when you find out anyway? Leave them alone.” - Christen silently thanks Emily for asking the questions she is also wondering about. Lindsey is one of her favorite people here, but now the fact that she knows this girl isn’t a fan of “Tobin’s girlfriend” makes her feel a little uncomfortable. She doesn’t know how to handle this.

“Honestly, you can’t really control what haters are going to do. Some people are just horrible. That’s why there are so many break ups. I bet you part of the reasons is the fans. For me, I just don’t like the idea of my Toby having a girlfriend but I just want to know  who she is, how she is better than anyone else…”

“Haters” Christen has heard it from Tobin before but doesn’t know how aggressive and intense these people are. Are they gonna force them to break up? I mean what kind of fans don't care about their idol’s feelings or what they want to do?

“So you are jealous. Omg, you are crazy. No wonder you are not dating anyone.” - Usually Christen would be laughing at Emily’s comment but now she is not in the mood.

“You will never be able to understand it. Anyway, I have read that Tobin likes to do casual sometimes. Probably won’t last long.”

“Kids these days…” - Emily shakes her head.

**\---**

“Hey…”

“Hey...are you okay? Are you alone?”

“I’m fine. I’m in my office. Why haven’t you called? Are you okay?”- Christen asks, walking to the door to lock it. 

“I have been on the phone with my manager and the club. I’m worried about you. Are you really okay? Thank god they didn’t see your face. It’s all my fault. I should have been more careful.” - Leaning back on the sofa, Christen listens to her girlfriend’s soft voice. She feels better than that she's heard from Tobin.

“I’m fine. Really. I just found out at lunch. People have been talking since the morning but I had no idea. Are they giving you a hard time?”

“They might sit me out for the next game and cancel all my interviews. I think they are giving a statement to the press later. Are you upset? Mad at me? I never wanted anything bad to happen to you.” - Tobin asks carefully. It doesn’t matter what this does to her career as long as her girlfriend knows she cares about her the most.

“Tobin, I’ll never question your love for me okay? What are they going to say? Can you believe it? The entire world has been talking about a picture of me and I was the last one to know.”

“Because they saw my face so there is no way we can deny it. They might say it’s Perry or Kate, coming over from Jersey to visit.”

“Ah okay. So everyone knows? About us…”

“No not everyone. The club knows. I haven’t told anyone else. But...Chris...:” - Tobin’s voice sounds like she is carrying a lot of emotions. It makes Christen want to see her and give her a hug right now.

“I’m here.”

“I was thinking maybe we should just go public. If you want, I will do that.”

“What will happen when we do that?”

“Well we don’t have to be careful or hide anymore but I’m worried about your privacy and safety.”

“And what if we don’t?”

“Then we can just keep hanging out at your place or mine. After this, I think it’s going to be harder for us to be together. People are gonna start looking more.”

“.......I don’t know. What are we gonna do?”

“Hey...I promise everything will be fine okay?”

“I trust you Tobs.” - Christen knows she can handle a lot of things by herself but this, she just has to rely on Tobin. Her sweet Tobin, she has so much on her plate already.

“Be careful okay? I’m worried about your safety the most. Call me if anything happens. I will find a way to go see you right away.”

“I know. You haven’t eaten have you?”

“I’m gonna go eat after this.”

“Okay take care of yourself. I’m gonna check in on you. I love you.”

“I love you baby.”

Throwing her phone on the sofa, Christen uses her thumbs to massage her temple. She is overwhelmed with all the information she was just told. She hasn’t done much but her body is exhausted. They have been through a lot already: conflicts, arguments, different time zones, busy schedules. But nothing can compare to this. She knows they will sort this out but how long or what will they have to do to get over this, she has no clue.

\---

Lindsey was right. Tobin’s crazy fans have finally found her. They sent letters threatening her. It’s been a week since she last saw Tobin. Just a few phone calls and texts. The club has made a statement like Tobin said. Some people believe it, of course Tobin’s fans don’t. Everywhere Christen scrolls on social media, she sees the soccer player. Just when Christen thinks everything is dying down, more threatening letters come. Telling her if they don’t break up, there will be consequences. She is so tired and she misses Tobin so much.

Christen is really stressed after that. Now people start staring at her or try to approach her in supermarkets. She doesn’t know who to trust. At first, she just ignored them but it’s getting worse and worse. Her phone starts ringing at weird hours. Christen doesn’t want to turn off her phone just in case of Tobin calls. She wishes Tobin was here with her. Tobin unfortunately still has national camp duty. She has been away for a week now. Sometimes Christen wonders if she should tell her girlfriend. She also understands that fans are an important part of Tobin’s career. She knows Tobin would do anything for her but she doesn’t want her to do anything crazy that makes her supporters turn their back on her.

\---

“Hey babe.”

“Hey, where are you?”

“We just got to Texas yesterday. Is everything okay? Your voice sounds weird.”

“No, I’m good. When are you back?”- Christen lies.

“This weekend. Are you sure you are okay?”

_ ‘I want to see you’  _ that’s what Christen wants to tell her girlfriend. The loneliness is killing her, she is missing Tobin like crazy. They were right next to each other, kissing, cuddling and then all of a sudden they have not seen each other for a month. And the whole thing with the fans, Christen is becoming more emotional. She needs Tobin.

“Yeah. For real. I’m calling to tell you I’m going to Jersey for two weeks.”

“You are going back to Jersey?”

“Yeah, I got some PTOs. I suddenly want to go home. It’s been a while.”

“Okay, that’s good. You need a break. You are probably exhausted.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll call you when I’m back okay? I gotta go to a meeting. Love you.” - Tobin hangs up.

“Love you…”- Christen says, more like a whisper. She actually was hoping Tobin would meet her in Jersey.

\---

Everyone in the house is so surprised with Christen’s appearance, especially Tyler. 

“Omg you look like you lost a lot of weight. What happened? Something wrong with you two? Is it about the picture? What did she do to you?” - Christen just vaguely answers her sister and closes her bedroom door. Her parents didn’t ask much. She is a grown up. They are both happy to have her home.

Christen is enjoying her new routine. She goes grocery shopping with her mom in the morning, cooks, talks to her dad, argues with Tyler, watches TV. She looks much more alive after a few days. She didn’t realize how much she missed being at home like this. The best place in the world. Being here allows her to pause and reflect. There is no way she is breaking up with Tobin but she isn’t sure what she wants to do, call the police? Or dealing with her by herself. 

As soon as Tobin gets back from camp, she constantly calls Christen. She promises to take care of everything and apologizes to her every time. Christen keeps telling her it’s okay. Tobin tells her they are going to see each other right when Christen gets back.

\---

Dr. Press likes watching his morning news in the living room while her mom meditates. Tyler usually doesn’t come over until lunch. They might still be questioning her tired look at the beginning but everyone is happy she is here. Christen loves cooking with her mom. She now wakes up early enough to meditate with her mom and sits on the couch with her dad.

“Mom, you are not meditating? Why are you standing there?” - Christen walks down from her room, looking at her mom who is focusing on the TV with her dad. Her mom doesn’t like the news. She says they are biased and always bring stress.

“What happened?” - It seems like the news today doesn’t bring stress because her mom is barely moving. It seems like they are talking about a celebrity’s dating rumours. The interesting part is why hasn't her dad changed the channel? He usually just snorts and switches to something else right away. Unless he knows who….now she is terrified.

“Who...is it, Mom?”

“Tobin!” - When her mom finishes, a picture of Tobin and her appears on the screen with the commentary of the journalist. Apparently, people are thinking it’s not Tobin’s sister in the picture but it’s her current girlfriend. They have been dating for a year and the girl is not a soccer player.  _ ‘Portland FC announced that Tobin Heath will be going live to address the rumours at 2pm, Pacific Time on her Instagram.’ _

“See, I told your Dad it wasn’t her sister but he didn’t believe me. That girl looks familiar but i have no idea how or who.” - Christen finds herself stepping back a little. She runs upstairs to call Tobin.

“Hi, this is Tobin. Leave your message.” - Christen keeps trying but it seems like Tobin turned off her phone.

“Urgggggg” - She throws the phone on her bed.

“Tobin Heath, if you don’t pick up your phone, I’m going to kill you.” - She mumbles to herself, reaching out for the phone again. She dials Tyler this time.

“Yo, what’s up? I’m about to come over.”

“It’s over. They know the picture is not Tobin’s sister. Now Tobin Heath is going live on her instagram this afternoon. She turned off her phone. I can’t reach her.”

“Who’s they?”

“The media...I mean everyone. It’s on the morning news. I might kill her...or break up with her.”

“Are you sure you wanna kill her or break up with her?”

“No, I’m just mad. It’s not really her fault.”

“Good. What do you think she is going to say?”

“No idea. That’s why I’m terrified.”

“You guys didn’t talk about this?”

“Yeahhh no…” - Christen whines. She thought everything was getting better, now….

“ She kept telling me to trust her. She said everything will be fine.”

“And?”

“And I trust her.” - Christen admits. She is also going to try to stay strong.

“Well then keep you promise. She is trying her best there. There is no way she is going to leave you.”

“You know something?”

“Nope. Nada, like you but I also trust her.”

The entire day, Christen feels like she is sitting on fire. Tyler is right, she needs to trust her girlfriend. Whatever happens, she will support her.

\---

“Hey baby, I’m sorry for the earlier text. I was just shocked. I trust you Tobs. I know you’ll do what’s best for us. I hope to see you soon. I love and miss you a lot.”

It’s close to 5pm Eastern now which means it’s almost 2 in Portland. Christen is very nervous. It’s like she is taking an exam in medical school. Her heart is beating fast, thoughts are running 100 miles per hour in her head. She keeps looking at the clock. 

“Here, eat.” - Tyler tries to calm her down. “It’ll be fine. Breath.” 

“I’m so curious. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I know this girl. Even Cindy said she had no idea who this girl was.” - Well it’s her daughter, how does she not know. It’s just that she probably can’t imagine it’s actually her Christen.

“How can you know? They are all the way on the other side of the country.” - Dr. Press snorts.

“Oh she is live.” - Tyler says, looking at her Instagram. She puts it up on her computer so everyone can see.

Christen cannot handle this. After this whole thing, she is going to tell her parents about Tobin. She feels a rush of butterflies in her stomach when she sees her girlfriend’s face on the screen. The soccer player looks serious, stressed and exhausted. Christen is getting emotional. If her parents weren’t here she would already be crying.

“You got this!” - Tyler squeezes her sister’s arm.

“Hello everyone, it’s Tobin. I hope everyone is doing well. I’m just gonna go straight to the point here. Last week, we issued a statement to confirm that the girl in the picture was my sister, well it’s not the truth…” - Christen feels tears coming out of her eyes.

“ The truth is I am currently in a relationship. She is not a soccer player. And I am going to keep her personal information private. And I am hoping that everyone, including my beloved fans can honor that as well. The reason why we decided to deny it..because I thought I was protecting her privacy and safety. Unfortunately, it did the opposite. I don’t know how but some fans have already found her personal information, where she lives and works. She has been threatened by some of my own fans. What makes it worse is that she had been dealing with all this by herself and I had no idea. And that made me feel terrible….So I have a message for everyone…..I am always thankful to have received the love from you guys. You guys are one of the main reasons why I play this game and continue to work hard everyday. But the truth is this girl is one of the first people who motivated me to change my life and to become the Tobin Heath that you all know today...so that I could finally one day deserve her love. I don’t mean to hurt or offend any of you. I do make mistakes so I truly apologize. This girl is one of the most important people in my life and I hope that you guys can respect our privacy. And…”

Tobin pauses a little, starts smiling - “To my favorite person in the whole world, you are probably really shocked right now. I’m sorry for not telling you before this but thank you for trusting me. I’m also sorry for everything you’ve been through. I’m a terrible girlfriend. I should have been there when you needed me the most. I hope you forgive me. I can’t wait to see you soon. I love you a lot.”

“Aw..she is really in love wi...Christen why are you crying?” - Stacy turns around to talk to her daughters but pauses when she sees her middle child sobbing.

“Well I mean it was a really emotional message. She’ll be fine.” - Tyler hesitates. Not sure what to do. She turns to hug Christen - “Oh Chris...what am I going to do with you?”

Dr. Press is also very surprised with his two daughters. It was quite emotional but why are they like this? And Christen is not acting like herself right now. If it was a few tears then it would be understandable, but Christen has not even stopped crying.

“Ty...what did you do to your sister?”

“Omg...urg. I’m tired of this. It’s her. Christen is Tobin’s girlfriend.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we are getting into some juicy stuff. Honestly I was feeling all the feels writing this chapter.  
> Thanks for the comment. Cheers!


	13. I miss you

[BREAKING NEWS] SOCCER STAR TOBIN HEATH IS IN A RELATIONSHIP

FANS ARE SHOCKED WITH TOBIN HEATH’S NEW RELATIONSHIP

PORTLAND THORNS’ TOBIN HEATH IS DATING A NON-SOCCER PERSON

TOBIN HEATH DECIDES NOT TO FILE A LAWSUIT AGAINST FANS

More than 16 hours after her Instagram live, Tobin Heath remains one of the top searches on social media. Some might have already known about it but the news has surprised the supporters across the nation. After her name, her girlfriend is perhaps the next popular search. Everyone is skeptical about the girl who has captured Tobin Heath’s heart. 

\---

The alarm goes off at 6am. It is still dark outside. The only lights are from the driveway. The air is fresh and everything is still so quiet. Christen has been waking up early to go for a walk to start her day. She loves these peaceful early mornings. She casually walks down to the house at the end of the driveway. 

“Oh you are up early.” - Christen stops at the front yard.

“Yeah I couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking about all the things that need to be done today. Why are you here so early?” - Cindy says with a smile.

“I quite like the quietness of the early morning. I have been trying to wake up early to enjoy it.” 

“Come on in. Have some breakfast and we’ll head to the supermarket.” 

“Okay.”- Christen smiles remembering what happened yesterday.

_ \--FLASHBACK-- _

_ Christen is standing in front of the Heath's household. It seems like nobody is home. She is about to turn around and leave when she hears - “Who is it?” _

_ “Hi Cindy, it’s Christen.”- Christen says softly. She is a little nervous. _

_ “Oh Christen. Come on in. Perry and Kate are coming over for lunch actually.”  _

_ “Hmm… I know tomorrow is the anniversary of...for…” - Christen hesitates, scratching the back of her neck. Tomorrow marks 6 years since Tobin’s father passed away. She doesn't know how to mention it. _

_ “Christen, it’s okay. How did you know? Did Tobin tell you?” - Cindy says with a sad smile. _

_ “Ah yeah?” - She hasn’t really calmed down from what Tobin did, now her mom is surprising her. _

_ “It’s you isn’t it? You are the girlfriend?”- Cindy lets out a chuckle.  _

_ “Ah..yea..but how did you know? She didn’t tell me anything. I didn’t know you knew. I just came over here to see if you were going to need any help tomorrow.” - Christen stutters. She was sure that nobody in both of their families knew, except for Tyler.  _

_ “She is my daughter. I know who she likes.” - Tobin has told her about Christen a while ago. She is quite happy actually. They have met a few times ever since Christen got back but everytime she could tell Christen was being hesitant about something.  _

_ \--END FLASHBACK-- _

“We are not waiting for Perry and Kate?”- Helping Cindy with the shopping bags, Christen and her ‘mother in law’ are heading to the supermarket. It feels a little different than when she goes with her mom. The thought that it’s Tobin’s mother makes her heart swell. She cannot hide the smile on her face. She is happy she can do this.

“No, they will start setting up there and getting ready for us.” 

\---

“Tobin!! Did you just get back?” - Tobin hears someone calling her name as she is pulling into the driveway to her parents’ house. After settling everything with the club, she jumped on the first plane to go home. Today is a special and emotional day for her.

“Hey cous...I just got back. How’s it going?” - It’s one of her cousins who lives in New York. A few of her family members are here for the family gathering.

“I’m doing great. Glad you could make it back...but no girlfriend? Come on.” - Her cousin says with a chuckle.

“Soon soon.” - Tobin laughs, scratching her head. 

“So she is not a soccer player huh? What does she do? Is she pretty?”

Tobin chuckles at all the questions - “She is a doctor. The prettiest.”

“Interesting. I have heard people around here say it’s Dr. Press’ daughter. Is that true?”

\---

As soon as Tobin steps out of the car, she sees her sister exiting the house - “Perry!” Tobin steps closer to give her sister a hug.

“OMG Tobs, did you just get back? I tried to call you so many times.” - Perry says, happy to see her sister. 

“Sorry I had to deal with so many things and just jumped on the plane right away. Why did you call me? And where are you going?” 

“Just wanted to ask when you were coming back. I just gotta go get some more stuff at the store. Mom is making food right now.” - Perry quickly jumps into the car and drives away.

Tobin thinks back to all the hard times her mom has been through. Ever since her dad passed away, her mom has been all by herself. At least her sisters live around here so they drop by and visit very often. But Tobin, whenever she thinks about it, she feels so guilty. Six years ago, she packed up and left when the national team called her up. She needed to get out but now thinking back, it’s probably her mom who has suffered the most. Her mom has come to Portland to visit her a few times. She doesn’t really like it. She says it’s too crowded and busy for her.

“Hi Mom, I’m back.” - Tobin says it loudly while closing the front door. The house smells amazing from all the food her mom is preparing. 

All the noises in the kitchen all of a sudden stop because of the soccer player’s voice. Cindy says from the kitchen - “Tobs? You are back! Perry had been trying to call you.” Her mom still looks the same. Since there are more people in the house than usual, she looks happy.

“I just saw Perry outside.” - Her mom comes closer to give her a hug. “Sorry I couldn’t be here earlier. Did anyone help you this morning?”

“Gee, you are acting like I have not been living by myself for the last 6 years. Put your stuff away then we gotta go to the cemetery. We still got time though if you want to rest.” Cindy turns around and walks back to the kitchen. 

“I’ll just take a quick shower and I’ll be ready. But who were you talking to earlier? I heard voices?” - Tobin follows her mom, puts her arm around her shoulders. Cindy doesn’t have to respond because Tobin already sees the answer.

_...She hears Tobin...her Tobin...at the door….She was having a great time, feeling content, then someone’s voice makes the atmosphere a little uncomfortable...at least Christen feels so. _

_ Christen stopped talking...no longer smiled, her jaw dropped a little...her hands stopped doing what she was doing. Her eyes shifted towards Cindy, then watched her standing up to leave the kitchen. She froze. Her heart is beating fast. Different images popped into her head. _

**….Last week she came back to Jersey….**

**….Not long before that she had a call with Tobin who was in Texas….**

**…..Sleeping pills…..**

**….Those letters…..**

  
  


“I’ll just take a quick shower and I’ll be ready. But who were you talking to earlier? I heard voices?” - She blanks out. Tears start dropping from her eyes down to the cutting board. She lifts her head up just in time to meet that gaze that was aiming straight at her.

Everything is so quiet. Nobody says a word to anyone. Cindy realizes the situation and excuses herself out of the kitchen so maybe they can talk. But then Christen just refocuses herself on the current task, cutting the vegetables. And her daughter who was talking non stop, now just stands there like a statue. She doesn’t understand kids these days.

“Yo Tobs, you are back! Can you come help me bring the stuff in?” - Kate says from the door.

“Ah...yeah...okay” - Tobin turns to look at  **her** one more time then steps outside.

Christen doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, relaxing her grip on the knife, if she was still standing here, maybe Christen would destroy all these vegetables. Maybe because Tobin’s mom is here so she doesn’t want to show any affection towards the soccer player, or she is still mad about the announcement yesterday. Tobin didn’t even call or text her. But she also didn’t call Tobin herself. That’s something really interesting about their relationship. Sometimes Tobin doesn’t call and neither does Christen but she doesn’t find herself waiting for it either. Maybe Tobin is the same. Yesterday was a very important day for both of them. Perhaps a little personal space is good for them to think about everything, the past and what they will face in the future.

\---

“Did you tell Chris about today?” - All three of the Heath sisters are walking down the pathway towards Mr. Heath’s grave. Christen is walking with Cindy in the back.

Tobin hasn't recovered over the situation in the kitchen. She was so surprised to see her girlfriend in her house, then even more when she saw how close her mom and her were. Nobody has told her about any of this. Tobin had been planning to bring Christen home on this occasion for a long time but those two are already a step ahead of her.

“No.” 

“You two are too funny. Acting like you are not dating.” - Tobin lets out a nervous laugh. She knows her sister can tell she is feeling tense. They have been in the house together, gone in the same car but neither of them has said a word to the other. Christen seems shy and doesn’t want to be affectionate in front of her girlfriend’s mom and sisters, she keeps finding things to do around the house. And Tobin sometimes would look over and watch Christen then have the biggest grin on her face. She wants to talk to her but she is worried that Christen is still mad at her.

“...”

“Wonder how she knew. We all thought you told her. She’s been helping since this morning, even before Kate and I got there. “

“Really? I don’t remember telling her.” - Tobin doesn’t show it but she is really happy. Seeing Christen with her family makes her feel like the luckiest person on earth.

When they were getting out of the car, everyone seemed to have their part in carrying all the stuff. But then Tobin stepped up and took Christen’s bags and her mom’s so they both didn’t have to carry anything.

Christen, who has been walking from behind, keeps wanting to help but everytime, Tobin just shakes her head.

They haven’t been able to talk but it doesn’t mean that they don’t care or love each other. After everything, a few words would not be enough. Tobin wants to have Christen all by herself to hug her, kiss her and to tell her how much she loves her.

“She looks like she lost weight.” - Tobin drops a comment to her sisters.

“She looks much better now. You should have seen her last week. We thought you guys had a big argument or something. Who would have thought things were so bad.”

“...”

\---

Christen steps out of the restroom and walks towards the parking lot. When she gets there, she doesn’t see the other three women anywhere. Before she can say anything, Tobin pulls her in for a tight hug. Christen’s heart skips a beat. She missed this so much.

“I miss you so much.” - Christen can feel Tobin’s heart beating. She wraps her arms around the soccer player’s waist to hold her tighter. Tobin breaks the hug just to lean in for a kiss. It’s not gentle or soft. It’s a little more aggressive and passionate. Christen responds right away. She lifts one of her hands to hold Tobin’s face. Tears from her eyes start running down her cheeks. Christen misses this so much but also she cannot forget all the fear, frustration, and scare she experienced. Tobin runs her hands up and down Christen’s back. It’s like to let Christen know she knows what the doctor has been through and she is here now to make up for it.

Tobin pulls away from the kiss when she hears Christen’s sob. There is no sign that Christen is stopping anytime soon either. Tobin pulls her back to her chest. Christen cries, cries and cries until her eyes are all red and swollen. Tobin’s shirt is soaked from tears. Tobin still hugs her tight, tangles her hand in Christen’s hair gently to calm her down. 

“Feel better?” - Using her thumbs to clean Christen’s cheeks. Christen nods, putting all her weight on her girlfriend.

“You wanna stand here or get in the car?” - Christen’s eyes suddenly go wide, looking straight at her girlfriend and asks - “Where are your mom and sisters? Are they waiting for us?”

Tobin gives her a peck on the lips and says softly - “They left to go home already. I told them we were gonna go for a drive then buy some wine.”

“Let’s go then.” - Christen wipes her face with both hands.

“Your shirt is soaked. Sorry.” - Christen’s voice has changed significantly. It sounds quite funny. 

“Worry about your face.” - Opens the door for Christen then Tobin climbs on her side of the car.

“Oh man, it is swollen.” - Christen cups her face with two hands.

“It’s okayyy.” - Tobin takes her hand and intertwines them together.

“I’ll never let you go through that again. I promise.” - Tobin says with her soft voice.

“How did you find out?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you go through that by yourself?”

“Why didn’t you answer my question?”

“How I found out isn’t important Chris. I was really going crazy to find that out though. I can’t believe they did that to you. I was also really mad at you. I almost called you to ask you why you kept saying everything was fine when nothing was.”

“I...You had a lot on your plate already…I didn’t want…”

“Didn’t want what? Didn’t want me to worry? Tyler texted me and asked why you looked so terrible and I had no idea what she was talking about. If you just got a scratch, I would already be worried but you just tortured yourself like that?” - Tobin doesn’t raise her voice but her tone is very serious. The hand that was holding Christen's is now gripping the steering wheel super tight. She hasn’t even turned to make eye contact with Christen once.

Reaching over, Christen runs her hand on Tobin’s tense arm, then intertwines the hands again. Her girlfriend is really mad. She always spoils **her** and lets **her** do whatever so it’s hard to imagine that Tobin can be this upset.

“I know. I’m sorry baby.” - Squeezing Tobin’s hand, Christen is not letting her go again.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late but it's here. Enjoy! let me know your thoughts :)


	14. I'm jealous

It’s been a while since Christen got a chance to just relax, the music is loud on the speaker in her bedroom, outside the air is fresh and everything is covered in darkness. She just spent the entire day at Tobin’s house, not doing anything crazy but her body is still exhausted. Leaning onto the balcony, she is looking out to the driveway with a smile on her face. She thinks back to all the memories 6 years ago. That shy, super introverted person in the alley across from her house waited for her to go to bed every night. When her vacation was over that year, she was super excited to go back to her city life and finish her residency. She was looking forward to her adventures after that but then that last night alone on the balcony, she felt a little sad. What would happen to that person after she was gone? That same someone who has become one of the most important people in her life but it took her many years to realize.

“Can’t believe how fast you fell for Tobin Heath. Tobin probably would be really proud.” - Christen says to herself, still deep in her thoughts. Her phone starts ringing.

“Tobin Heath?” - Christen’s brows furrow. Isn’t that her girlfriend standing in the alley over there. It’s not just her who takes a ride back to the past tonight.

“Hi?” - Christen picks up the phone, pretending like she hasn’t seen that person on the phone in the dark alley. It’s been these many years but Tobin Heath never realizes that her shadow is on the sidewalk. Christen cannot hide her laugh when thinking about it. Hopefully Tobin doesn’t know for a long time. 

“Hello? Why are you like a statue? What happened?” - She hears the soccer player’s voice on the phone.

“What? Me? How do you know?”

“I know everything about you”

“Where are you? Go home.”

“I am standing at a really beautiful place, you have no idea. Whenever you go to bed, I’ll go home.”

Christen laughs.

“What beautiful place? How come I don’t know?”

“For real. Close your eyes. Trust me.”

“Okay open your eyes.” - Slowly opening her eyes, the image of Tobin Heath waving with the biggest grin on her face makes Christen laugh harder. Her heart is full.

They actually just saw each other a couple of hours ago in front of Christen’s house. After all the guests left, Tobin told her they were going for a ride. She took the doctor to an empty soccer field near her old high school. Nothing special around, everything was dark. Before Christen could ask why they were there, Tobin turned off the car and used her hands to pull Christen in for a kiss. Christen smiled when she pulled away. Tobin drove her around just to find a place….to kiss her. She closed the space between them again. The kiss was faster, more passionate than this time. It carried all of their emotions and feelings. Christen usually never rejects Tobin, except for some inappropriate times. Tobin starts and Christen responds right away. They have gotten carried away multiple times. It’s getting harder and harder to control and stop what they are doing. Tobin could sense that Christen was getting uncomfortable with their position. She pushed her seat back and let Christen slide over to sit on her lap. Christen quickly wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck while Tobin has hers around Christen’s waist. Whenever they pulled away for some air, Tobin continued to leave some soft kisses on her jaw, neck and collarbone. That is as far as they have gotten when being intimate.

\---

“Why didn’t you tell me?” - They are finally on the plane back to Portland. Tobin has to get back to training and Christen is about to start work again. 

“Tell you what?” 

“About my mom.” - Tobin says casually.

“Then why didn’t YOU tell me?” - Christen asks back, now that they are on the topic.

“About what?” - Tobin turns to look at her girlfriend, surprisingly.

“That she knew about us.”

“Well...I kinda have a gigantic picture of you in my bedroom. She definitely knew. I didn’t have to say much.”

“Urg...i don’t know. She kind of tried to initiate the conversations with me all the time….Now that I think about it, it was so embarrassing.”

“Oh she loves you. She thinks you are beautiful. Now answer my question.”

“What do you want me to say, ‘Tobs I’m going to see my mother in law today.’ You already know the answer.”

Tobin feels a rush of butterflies in her stomach. “That’s my girl. Thank you so much. I was going to take you home but you were a step ahead of me.” 

“Well it’s not really about you. I’m just doing my best for us. You don’t need to thank me.” - Tobin’s hand finds Christen’s and intertwines them. Christen knows Tobin is feeling emotional.

“Um..I’m gonna look into a new place for you. You are not staying there anymore.”

“That serious huh?”

“Yeah...I’ll find a better place for you.”

“What about now? Where am I gonna stay?”

“...my place…” - The air suddenly becomes a little thicker. Christen doesn’t know what to say.

“Don’t worry. I promise to be on my best behavior. I’ll clean out the guest room and get all the stuff you need. You’ll have your own room…”

“You don’t need to do that. I mean as soon as you find a new place for me, I’ll move out right away.”

Christen knows living together is becoming the norm now. Maybe this is where they are different from other modern couples. They have not even had sex yet. They both know that they are committed to each other and plan to be together for a long time. They never really had the talk about the future or anything. Plus they are both very independent and appreciative of their own space. Yes, they are madly in love but they are definitely not attached to the hip. It’s something about living together that sounds intimidating to her. It’s just a little sudden. Before this whole thing, if Tobin had a tournament or camp, they wouldn’t see each other for weeks. Even when they hung out, they would still come back to their own place. Now they are gonna be seeing each other every day and night. All the habits are going to come out. It would be a lie to say that Christen never thought about living with Tobin but she honestly still really enjoys having her own place. All those years of traveling and living at people’s places, she always told herself that once she settled, she would have her own place so she could have the freedom she never had before. 

  
  


“Tomorrow, I’ll take you to your apartment to get the rest of the stuff.” - Tobin says carefully, trying to lighten the mood. Christen focuses back to the movie playing on her screen, trying to think of all the positive factors that come with this situation.

\---

“I can’t believe you have never been here. My friend said this was the most famous hair salon in Portland. A lot of famous people come here. I heard that lots of Thorns players come here too. Maybe we will see someone today.”

“Oh, what are you going to do when you see them? I’m sure they have a different area for those people. We are probably just gonna be in the normal area.”

This weekend, Christen has some time off so she is going out with Lindsey. Christen actually has been thinking about getting her hair done for a while now but she hasn’t gotten the time and also she doesn’t want to do it by herself. She came across this salon on social media the other day. It looks like it has a really good reputation here. 

“Well I’d love to see some of the Thorns players here. I have seen enough of them on the field.”

“Oh gee..okay whatever floats your boat.” - Christen chuckles and continues - “Maybe, there will be someone there today.”

“I hope...OMG…”

“What? What happened? Why is your face like that?” - Christen’s brows furrow. Lindsey is scaring her right now.

“Is that who I think it is? - Lindsey whispers with her eyes wide open.

“Lindsey! Who? Why are you whispering?” 

“Tobin. Tobin Heath. That person looks like her sitting up there.”

“Yeah right. I was just joking you know. What are the odds that Tobin Heath is actually here? ” - Christen lets out a nervous chuckle.

“What? You don’t believe me? She was spotted around this area before.” - Lindsey seems disappointed. 

“Alright alright. Calm down…” - Christen wiggles her eyes and says - “So you done being mad?”

“Who said I was mad? I was just shocked. You were in Jersey at that point. Don’t listen to Emily. I will never be mad at my Toby.”

“How did you feel?”

“I was really shocked. Did people in Jersey know? It was crazy over here.”

“Well I think it’s the same. There are always haters but also a lot of supporters.”

“True. But do you know anything about Tobin’s hometown in Jersey?”

“Well I was really never there. I lived in the city then only came home for the holidays and stuff then I went overseas.” - Christen shrugs her shoulders. “But I think my sister does.”

Christen is having her hair washed by one of the staff. The area is separated from the common area, very quiet with good music.

“You have beautiful hair.” - The staff starts the conversation.

“Oh thanks. The curls annoy me sometimes. It takes a lot of time and effort.” - Christen says with a smile.

“Is this your first time here? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

“Ah yeah...I’ve been wanting to get my hair done for a while but hadn't found a good place.”

“All done, you can go back out and I’ll be right there.” - The staff carefully wraps a towel around Christen’s head.

The quietness quickly gets faded by the noises of people chatting outside. Christen is being really passionate about the topic her and the hairdresser are on and totally forgetting Lindsey was close.

“Chris…” - Lindsey leans in and whispers into her ear. She has a surprise look on her face. Following Lindsey’s eyes, Christen looks over and right in front of her - Tobin Heath. Tobin looks different today, dresses a little fancier, with a little make up. The reason why Christen has some free time is because Tobin said she had to go to an event, other than that Christen had no idea what or where. After a few seconds holding eye contact with her girlfriend, Christen turns back awkwardly. They have never been in this situation before. She is a little shocked right now, not sure what to do. 

Christen brings her attention back to the girl sitting next to her then starts laughing. Lindsey always says my Toby this, my Toby that and now the soccer player is right in front of her, she doesn’t move an inch. Both hands are squeezing the bag on her lap. 

“So you never met her in “real life”?” - Christen teases, using her fingers to make the air quote. 

“Well yeah, I mean I’ve seen her play soccer too many times to count but this is different.” - Lindsey admits. Christen takes a quick glance over through the mirror. She squints her eyes when she sees the soccer player is chatting with another girl, they seem very close.

“They are just like us. Calm down. But what is Emily doing right now anyway?” - Trying to ignore the image of her girlfriend being close to someone else. Christen still catches herself looking over every once in a while.

“You have no feelings. It’s Tobin Heath. One of the best players in the world. Also she is so hot. How can you just take one look and turn around. Aren’t you at least curious?"

Christen doesn’t know what to say. The hairdresser adds - “ Yeah I agree. I have been working here for years and lots of famous people come in. Everyone is curious. This is the first time I see someone meet Tobin Heath and can remain this calm.”

The truth is she is not calm at all. She is actually super nervous. Of course she is not nervous when she sees Tobin Heath normally but not in public. She is also curious. Tobin seems to be really close with the other woman. She wants to look and ask but that would be really weird. And Tobin seems to be an expert in these situations. Other than that first eye contact, she hasn’t looked over once. 

“So does Tobin come here often? That’s Alex Morgan with her right? - Lindsey asks the hairdresser.

“I have seen her a couple of times. They always come here together. It’s usually Alex who gets her hair done. Tobin just sits there.” - Christen just sits there, carefully listens to their conversation. 

“Ah the Thorns are playing Orlando Pride soon so that makes sense. Huh...I didn’t realize they are still close. They didn’t seem to hang out much anymore.”

“Right. I heard the other girls say so too but some told me whenever they were here, they were always chatting and laughing. Didn’t seem like they fell apart. But it’s hard when you go from playing together to living on the opposite ends of the country.” - The hairdresser seems to be really into this topic. Lindsey is listening and nodding. Christen honestly doesn’t know much about Tobin’s friends. Being together this whole time, all she knows is that Tobin loves her unconditionally and that’s about it.

“Honestly there was one point I thought they were dating but then Alex got married to her husband. Maybe Tobin was heartbroken and that’s why they seem a little distant. Wonder if Alex’s met her girlfriend” - Christen knows this answer but wants to see what the hairdresser says.

“Ah I don’t think so. When Alex was here the last time, one of my friends asked her and she said no, she was surprised as well.” 

“Really? Man...I really want to take a picture with Tobin.” - Lindsey says, her voice is filled with disappointment. 

“You can probably ask for an autograph. I don’t think they do photos. Just give it a try. Who knows.” - The hairdresser smiles, encouraging Linsdey. She then turns to the doctor and says : “ Maddie will be over in a few minutes to cut your hair.”

Christen nods with a smile then turns to look at Lindsey. “Urg I really want a picture.”

“Go ask. I’m sure she is normal.” - Christen lets out a chuckle. It’s her girlfriend, she knows.

“I feel so awkward.”

“Don’t regret it later then. Who knows when you are going to see her again.”

“Urgggg...i don’t know…” - Lindsey covers her face with two hands. Christen decides that she is going to put her friend out of misery. She takes off the cape and pulls Lindsey up from her seat. They start walking towards the sofa where the two soccer players are talking. All of a sudden, all the attention is towards them. Christen doesn't know why she is doing it, maybe because she is tired of all the whining from Linsdey.

“Hmmm excuse me…” - Christen clears her throat to gain the other girls’ attention. One person is wondering what is happening. The other one is extremely shocked when the certain someone is standing in front of her. Behind Christen, Lindsey tries to pull her back - “What are you doing?”

“Sorry to interrupt but my friend here is a huge fan of yours. She was wondering if she could get a picture with you. She is a little shy. It would be really awesome if you could take a picture with her. It won’t take long.”

Christen then shifts her eyes towards the girl sitting next to her girlfriend. Looking at this woman for the first time. Alex Morgan is really pretty. She brings a strong and present vibe. Alex seems to be amused with the situation, she looks at her friend to see what she is going to do.

“Ah yeah, sure.” - Tobin says slowly which makes Alex’s eyes widen. Tobin doesn’t really like people interrupting her personal life. She usually politely refuses but not this time. She is only doing it because it’s Christen.

“Great. Thank you.” - Christen says without making eye contact with anyone. She pulls out her phone from the pocket. She is having all different kinds of weird feelings right now. She is trying really hard to not let them take over her. She doesn’t want to regret her actions later. “Hurry go..” 

Tobin stands up, puts her arm over Lindsey's shoulders. Lindsey is on cloud 9 right now. However, it’s getting a little awkward because Christen just keeps taking the pictures. It goes on a little too long. Finally Lindsey says - “Chris what are you doing? That’s good. Thank you so much Tobin.”

“Ah sorry, I’m just a little excited. Thank you!.” - Christen gives an uncomfortable smile.

When they go back to their seats, Christen is given a catalog for different hairstyles. She is looking to cut her hair short.

“This has all different kinds of hairstyles. Let me know what you want.” 

Christen leans over to discuss with Lindsey when her phone buzzes.

“Don’t cut it too short.” - It’s Tobin. Thinking for a few minutes, Christen closes the book and says - “ I changed my mind. Just cut the dead ends.”

By the time Christen gets home, it’s almost 9pm. The entire apartment is dead silent and dark. She goes straight to her room and locks the door.

Nobody is perfect. Both her and Tobin Heath have flaws. All the media is making it seem like Tobin is this perfect public figure. Christen also admits that she has some bad qualities as well. She is quite stubborn and maybe a little possessive. Once her best friend was mad at her for an entire week because of one comment she made  _ ‘ I don’t think you see me as your best friend anymore.’  _ Her best friend was complimenting someone during dinner. She even acts like that to her friends, let alone her girlfriend - Tobin Heath. She knows it’s something she needs to work on. She is getting better at it but it’s not easy to get rid of. Tobin hasn’t seen the worst of it and she was hoping she never will. Christen feels like she is being left behind. She knows they both did the same thing today which was just pretending they didn’t know each other but Tobin, who always gives her all the attention and love, today turned her back and focused on a different woman.

The discomfort in Christen’s body is getting unbearable. She is annoyed and grumpy. She wants to blame everyone, especially Tobin but she also knows it’s no one’s fault. She is also annoyed at herself because it seems like she knows very little about her girlfriend but then she is mad at Tobin for not telling her more. Grabbing her phone, she looks for the one person who always seems to calm her down everytime she is about to do something dumb.

“Yo?” - The person on the other side seems a little surprised.

“Kel…” - Christen starts. “I need to talk”

“Facetime me.”

“No this is fine. I don’t want to be seen.” - She has been laying in bed since she got home, didn’t bother changing or anything,

“Okay...talk to me. Why do you sound so sad?”

Christen then tells her friend everything, all the smallest details, trying to be as objective as possible.

“Yeah...that’s it."

“Okay let me guess...are you jealous? Are you being possessive again?”

“Hahahaa” - Christen just laughs because of course her best friend knows her too well.

“Well tell me how you feel.”

“Annoyed, uncomfortable, sensitive, sad. It just keeps popping up in my head.” - She was told once if something is bothering her, try to distract herself from it, stop thinking about it. It’s easier said than done.

“Why?”

“I know part of it is my fault because I didn’t make the effort to get to know her but why was she hiding it?”

“Well i don’t think she was hiding. More like you didn’t ask.”

“How am I supposed to know she was going with her best friend to ask?” - Christen snaps back.

“Okay listen, you are entitled to your own opinions and thoughts but you are letting your emotions affect you. I am an outsider so I am more rational than you. Stop snapping at me.”

“Sorry…” - Christen interrupts.

“Sureee. Don’t do that again. Anyway, so you even admitted that you don’t know much about your girlfriend. I don’t know a lot about your relationship but I know enough. Five years is a long time Chris. A lot happened. I mean she went from a normal soccer player to one of the world’s best. I’m sure that’s not just it. Plus once you are a public figure, it’s even more complicated. And also I don’t think she didn’t tell you on purpose. She probably didn’t even think about it. Seems like you guys have a lot to talk about. Better start now before you find out more things that bother you.”

“...”

“I’m not siding with her or anything but have you read the articles about you two?”

“No.”

“Okay good. Don’t. They are saying you are a gold digger.” - Kelly says bluntly.

“...”

“I feel like when telling your story, about 80% of people feel for Tobin more. It was a one-sided love for so long. She was only falling for you harder and harder as time went by. Then you left for 5 damn years. And when you came back, she was going after you then finally you agreed. Now all people see is you left her and finally got together with her when she made a name for herself. There are always haters. I think it makes sense why people think that. From outside looking in, Tobin Heath loves you more than you love her. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think so too. What do you think Tobin will think about this? Urg...i need a drink.”

Christen is deep in thoughts. Is that why Tobin doesn’t let her read the articles? Gold digger?

“Hello?”

“Yeah, I’m listening.”

“Chris... you know as well as I do that communication is the key in a relationship. Since when you started to be so secretive? You used to be an open book. I feel like nobody except for me knows about those years overseas, how all you did was work, no dating, no relationships. That’s not the Chris I knew. I asked myself so many times. What the hell happened to you during that break before finishing up your residency that made you like that. And honestly you know what surprised me the most? You hadn’t dated for more than 6 years and never wanted to then not long after being back here, you told me you were dating. And the funny thing is that same girl who had the biggest crush on you back then.”

“...”

“Hello? Are you still listening? Say something. Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you. You said you wanted to talk and I’ve been doing all the talking.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have called you.” - Christen jokes because she doesn’t know what to say. Only Kelly O’hara can say all these things to her and shut her up.

“Yeah right, you will be calling to thank me in a few days.” - Kelly scoffs. She probably was waiting for Christen to call to tell her everything. Kelly is usually really chill, doesn’t like serious talks much but once she gets serious, she usually says the right thing. “I’m serious Chris. I know almost everything about you but there are still some parts of your life I have no clue. Like when you were back in Jersey. Tobin knows the opposite. Only you know what you think about and how you feel. That 5 year gap is big and important for your love. Neither of you knows anything about each other. You don’t need the whole world to know but at least she gotta know. It seems like you are serious about her so she has the right to know everything and vice versa. Something is telling me now is that she might not love you more than you love her.”

“Well...because...the day I was leaving Jersey to go back to work...she gave me a hug and begged me not to leave. I mean I had goals and dreams you know. I guess I just wanted to get them done as soon as possible then come back. I was just realizing that recently.” - Christen confesses.

“...”

“I feel like I already fell for her back then. She literally did nothing, just looked at me. No flirting, no chasing.”

“So I have two questions. Why didn’t you go home at all during those 5 years? And If when you were back, Tobin Heath wasn’t who she is now?”

“You think i’m a gold digger too? Are you really my best friend?

“Hahahah.” Kelly laughs. Everytime Christen doesn’t get her way, she will throw that infamous line in. “Don’t change the topic. Answer my questions.”

“Kel I know it’s my relationship but I still can’t explain a lot of things. Ever since I got back and saw her again, everything started to become clearer. But if Tobin didn’t make the first move, I don’t think we would be where we are now. I don’t really care about Tobin Heath - best soccer player in the world. And why didn’t I come back? Well my schedule was really crazy and I wanted to make sure I did all the programs I always wanted to do...And now I’m starting to think...maybe...justtt maybe…I was scared that she would have changed or what if I couldn’t leave again after I saw her?

“I feel really honored that I’m the first person you are telling this to.”

“It’s easy to talk to you. I feel like I can tell you whatever I am really feeling.”

“So you both haven’t seen each after the hair salon?”

“No, it just happened this afternoon. She is not home yet. That’s why I can comfortably talk to you.”

“WHAT? What the hell did you just say? You guys live together??? Christen Press!” - Christen blushes.

“Oh I guess I haven’t told you?” - She says calmly.

“When? When did it happen? How did you not tell me?” - Kelly asks with an exciting tone in her voice.

“Just a week. That makes sense. We have not talked for a while.”

“Do your parents know?”

“They know we are dating. She came over to my house when I was in Jersey but they don’t know about the living situation.”

“So how is it? How’s the sex?”

“OMG, we have not done anything. Of course you would think about that first.”

“How long have you guys been dating? Is something wrong with her? Or you? I didn’t think you were like strict about it or anything. Otherwise why would you agree to move in?”

“Urg we are adults. We know what we are doing. We have our own rooms missy. Tobin didn’t want me to stay at my old place. She is looking for a new place for me. In the meantime, I’m staying here, IN MY OWN ROOM.” - Christen stresses the last few words.

“You guys are so boring. Let’s see how long you guys last.” - Kelly teases.

“Enough about me. You seem to be in a good mood. What’s good?” - Christen tries to change the subject.

“No no, don’t bring my life in here. Way off topic. Back to your life. You guys better start talking.”

“But I’m still a little annoyed that she ignored and focused on Alex...what’s her last name….Morgan.” - She feels a little better now but is still bothered by that.

“I don’t have a comment on this one but there might be a solution.”

“Which is….?”

“Tell her about your tendency of being possessive over people you love. Like tell her you are mine, don’t like it when you ignore me to talk to other women. Or if that’s too dramatic then just say I get jealous, don’t do that again.” - Christen can feel her cheeks getting warm from listening to Kelly’s bluntness.

“Seriously. Start opening up. The more the better. You can start by saying ‘ _ My bestest friend is coming up to visit me next month.’  _ then ask ‘ _ who’s your best friend?’ _ ”

“Really?”

“What?”

“You...coming up here?”

“Well yeah. I was gonna surprise you but good thing we talked because now that you are staying with your girl. Gotta save some mula for a hotel room.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing well. Sorry for the late update. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts :)


	15. Are you mad?

Even a few days later, both of them still have not talked to each other. That night Tobin didn’t come home until past midnight. Usually Christen waits for her in the living room but that night the doctor was just laying in bed waiting until she heard the door then fell asleep. She was not comfortable talking to her girlfriend. The image of Tobin and Alex were still in her head. After a few minutes of the door opening, Christen heard footsteps near her bedroom door and the sound of someone trying to open it but Christen had locked the door since she gotten home earlier. Even though Christen understood fully the situation, she still did not want to face Tobin. Five years passed, what had happened in Tobin Heath’s life, Alex Morgan...and what else? Are they really just best friends? Were they ever something more? Christen doesn’t think Tobin would ever cheat on her but she doesn’t believe that Tobin doesn’t have admirers. This whole thing isn’t a big deal but it needs to be discussed by both. Kelly is right. They both need to have a serious conversation.

\---

“You don’t have training today do you?” - Christen asks, Tobin’s schedule is always put on the fridge. The soccer player has been busy lately so neither of them has spoken about anything to each other.

Sipping on her morning coffee, Tobin nods, she just got back from a team trip earlier this morning. Christen was woken up by the noise outside of her bedroom. “Yeah I got a couple of days off before camp.”

“Okay, I’m gonna get some groceries after work. What do you want for dinner?” - Christen puts an omelette on a plate for her girlfriend.

“I don’t care. Whatever you feel like. I can pick you up?”

“It’s okay, I’m driving to work. You gotta rest.”

“Is everything ok babe? I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. Why did you lock the door that night?”

“Just a few things. We’ll talk tonight.”

\---

“Alright talk to me…”- After dinner, Tobin drags her girlfriend to her room. Christen sits on the bed helping Tobin fold her clothes for the upcoming trip.

They are both quiet for a few minutes then Christen signals for Tobin to put the suitcase down on the floor. The doctor reaches out to turn on the small lamp on the night stand then turns to cuddle into her girlfriend.

“So what’s up baby?”- Tobin hugs her close, gives her a kiss on the forehead. One hand runs up and down Christen’s back to comfort her.

“You wanna play a game?” - Christen says softly, tightening her arm around Tobin’s waist. Something inside her is uncomfortable but she misses Tobin so much.

“Oh...a game? I thought we were gonna talk?” - Tobin says with confusion, trying to pull her girlfriend away to take a look at her face.

“Truth or dare. You wanna play or not?”

“Ah so what if you don’t tell the truth or don’t want to do something? A kiss?” - Tobin smirks.

“Sure, but if you can’t answer then you can’t kiss me for an hour. You can only dare 3 times. You go first. Truth or dare?” 

“What? I haven’t agreed yet..”

“I already agreed with your deal. It’s only fair. We got one hour. I’ll set the alarm. Now truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Who exactly is Alex Morgan to you?” - Christen asks. Tobin listens then has a big grin on her face.

“So I have to tell the truth right?” - The doctor nods. “ She is one of my best friends. Nothing more.” - Tobin answers calmly.

Christen wants to ask more but maybe next time. “Okay, truth for me.”

“Why did you lock the door that night? I wanted to see you.” - Tobin asks without thinking.

“I was annoyed with you.” - She answers.

“Why?”

“One question at a time. My turn.”

“Truth.”

“How long have you guys known each other?” - Christen continues.

“Many years, since we were in national youth camp.” 

“Why were you annoyed with me?”

“Because you only paid attention to her and ignored me. Why didn’t you tell me you had a best friend?”

“Because you didn’t ask?”- The air between them is getting thicker. Christen gets up, no longer laying on Tobin’s chest. They have no interest in the game anymore, just throwing out all the questions they have had for a long time. “Were you jealous?”

“Yes, happy? Am I your first love?” 

“Well technically yes but I dated many people before and I did have some feelings for them but nothing like I did with you. Who is your first love?” - Now Tobin’s getting to tease Christen after hearing that Christen was jealous, just wait she is going to make this cocky person sit up right away.

“Not you, my first love was in middle school.”- Christen was right. Tobin suddenly sits straight up after that.

“So have I been your only “love” in the last 6 years?”

“Well yeahh. I did try to go out with some people but deep down inside I never forgot you. What number am I on your dating list?”

“Hmmm quite a lot. I don’t know. Is there anyone interested in you now?”

“Yes. Who was your first kiss?”

“A guy named Joe. We were together for about a year. Since you asked, who was your first kiss?”

“Hmmm” - Tobin hesitates. The action makes Christen’s heart beat faster.

“Just say it.” - Christen takes a deep breath. She just wants to know.

“Alex…”

“Okay…”- Christen’s brows furrow, waiting for an explanation.

“It happened a long time ago. When we were young and dumb you know. That was when we first met in youth camp. It never happened again.”

Silence quickly takes over the room. Christen is quiet because there’s a lot she still doesn’t know about Tobin. How is she supposed to learn everything about her over those 5 years? She actually did date a lot of people before Tobin so Tobin’s story is just a small piece of her past but for some reason she is still shocked.

“Are you mad baby?”

“No, I’m just a bit shocked. I asked more questions than you. Now you can ask me.”

“I just want to know if I’m just a phase to you?”

“Yeah but a life long phase.” - Christen looks straight into her girlfriend’s eyes. “ My turn, I dare you to cuddle me to sleep tonight.”

“Why not?” - Tobin starts taking her shirt off, revealing her sports bra then pulls Christen down.

“What the hell. Why did you take your shirt off?” - Christen blushes.

“I get really hot during the night.” 

“No funny business.”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes but no touching.”

“Boring”

“Okay then.” - Christen tries to get up but Tobin quickly holds her down.

They lay there silently in the dark. The only light in the room comes from Tobin’s night stand. They both are enjoying each other’s company. It’s been a while since they had some free time like this. Giving Tobin a squeeze around her waist, Christen leaves some soft kisses on Tobin’s chest. Tobin’s skin is smooth and has a distinct scent. Suddenly Christen remembers the tattoo Tobin has on the side of her stomach. She’s seen Tobin in a sports bra a number of times but never asked the soccer player about the meaning of that tattoo. Shifting her eyes down Tobin’s body, Christen no longer hesitates these physical touches, she runs her fingers along the black numbers. Tobin’s hand on her back makes her feel so relaxed and comfortable. It also feels like Tobin is trying to ease Christen’s frustration from earlier. 

“Is there anything else you want to ask me Tobs? The alarm hasn’t gone off yet.”

“Are you really ok?” - As soon as Tobin finishes, Christen’s phone starts buzzing. The game is over.

“One of my biggest flaws is my jealousy or my best friend likes to say my possessiveness. I’m working on it. And I know part of it is my fault but I just didn’t like that I was being ignored by you. But then I also know it was in public. Anyways, at the end of the day you are mine and I’m so thankful that you waited that long for me. I am doing my best here to be better for you and for us. I just need to open up to you more.” - Christen says.

“Can I kiss you Chris?”

“But only I can do that.” - Lifting her head up, Christen says with a small smile.

“Why would I want anyone else when I already have you? It’s been really hard and we are finally together. I’m not letting you go.”

“So I do have a question.” - Christen’s eyes focus on the art on Tobin’s wall. 

“What is it? Time’s up. Can’t promise I’m gonna tell you the truth.” - Tobin teases. Of course she would never lie to her girlfriend.

“What’s the meaning behind these numbers?” - Tobin laughs at her girlfriend’s question. 

“Can you guess?” - Tobin looks down at the doctor who is staring at the tattoo.

“.....the day your dad passed away?...and also the day I left” 

“Correct. I actually have another one…” - Tobin nods then uses her free hand to lift a part of her sports bra up revealing another series of numbers. The tattoo is small and located on the same side as her heart.

Christen quickly pops up on her elbow, her eyes squint as she looks at what Tobin’s showing her. She runs her index finger along those numbers for a while then looks up to Tobin, who is starting to breath a little heavier, her eyes are dark. 

Before Christen can say anything, Tobin turns both of them over so she is now on top of Christen. Christen widens her eyes as Tobin’s forehead is touching hers. Tobin leans down and kisses her. Christen doesn’t take long to return the favor. They both play with each other’s lips and tongue for a while. They are in a very dangerous situation. At first, Tobin doesn’t put all her weight on the other girl’s body, now not only she doesn’t care but Christen even encourages more contact by pulling her body in. Christen can feel the desire from her girlfriend. Tobin’s hand goes from her hair, hips and now it’s a little under her shirt, touching her warm skin. Christen uses all her physical strength, the last bit of rational strength to push her girlfriend up.

“You said no funny business and you kept touching my chest. You are so mean.” - Tobin’s eyes are still dark, looking at the person under her whose lips are a little swollen. Christen honestly did not even think about her touching earlier. She was just curious about these numbers. She just stares at Tobin, does not know what to say. What could you possibly say? ‘ _ I didn’t mean it like that’ or ‘I’m sorry’  _ Tobin is actually pretty satisfied with what she got. Way more that she had expected. She doesn’t wait for Christen to answer and drops her head down to Christen’s neck and starts leaving kisses on her collarbone. She knows she probably should get off of her but at the same time she doesn’t want to.

“Tobin…” - Christen tries to get her girlfriend’s attention. “ Baby…”

“Hmmm.” - Tobin mumbles. Christen’s shirt is lifted up to her belly. Christen can feel Tobin’s skin on hers.

“If….do you wanna keep going? I’m okay with that.” - Christen says with a little hesitation. They never really talked about sex but it was kind of an unspoken rule. Whenever they feel like they go a little too far, they stop right away. It’s not that they are waiting for marriage but at the same time they both want it to be special, not just because one of them or both can’t control their own desire. And Tobin of course wants her girlfriend so badly but at the same time she respects and loves her so much, she will never force Christen to do anything she is not comfortable with.

Tobin still hasn’t said a word after what Christen said. Her body seems to be more relaxed however. Christen squeezes the arms around Tobin’s sweaty body, pulling her closer. 

“I...can I keep kissing you? No funny business I promise.”

\---

Bamboo Sushi is one of the most popular restaurants in Portland. In fact, it’s the world’s first certified sustainable sushi restaurant. It is committed to reduce its carbon footprint by sourcing only fish that is sustainable. If you are from Portland or visit Portland, this is one of the must-try restaurants. The busiest time is typically on a Friday night when everyone wants to treat themselves after a long week of work. Tonight is the same. The entire place is filled with people in suits and fancy dresses. It seems like everyone, including the staff, is busy gossiping about something.

“Is that who I think it is?” - A lady sitting near the front door asking one of the staff.

“Looks like her but I’m not sure.” - The staff politely responds, tries his best to not turn his back to look at the person the lady was asking about. 

“Did she come with anyone?” - the lady curiously asks again.

“Ah..um...yeah.” - The guy quickly turns away pretending like he is busy to avoid more questions from the lady. It’s not professional to be chatting with the customers about other customers.

This “mysterious” woman chooses to sit in a hidden corner of the restaurant. Unless you are seated near the area will not see her at all. However, she certainly cannot avoid the attention she got when she just entered the door waiting to be seated. 

First of all, she is beautiful even though she is not dressed fancy like other people in the restaurant. Just some denim shorts and a simple t-shirt. Her hair is straightened and she is wearing a pair of glasses. But it’s not like there aren’t any pretty people again, it can’t be a coincidence that everyone in the place seems to be talking about her. 

Second of all, she seems…..famous. If anyone did watch the show Health last week, they might be able to recognize this woman. A doctor was the guest for last week’s episode, talking about strokes. The show attracts many viewers due to its variety of content and guests. Sometimes, they would invite an artist, an athlete, a working individual, or a doctor. Just anyone who is interested in their health and fitness. Now it would not be a coincidence that most of the people, who are quite young, at Bamboo Sushi tonight all watched the episode last week, because Tobin Heath was actually in the audience for that episode. Certainly these people didn’t intentionally watch the episode because of the doctor. After all, she is just a normal doctor. Speaking of Tobin Heath, the funny thing is that her name wasn’t on the list for the show that day. Even the show director didn’t even know she was going to be there. When she was interviewed during the break, she said  _ “my dad’s health significantly got worse after a stroke and then passed away not long after that. I wanted to learn more about it.” _

_ \--FLASHBACK-- _

_ “Nervous?” - The girl in the office chair asks the other girl who is sitting on the sofa. Without a response, the other girl nods, her eyes are still focusing on the piece of paper filled with words on her hands. _

_ “I’m on TV all the time. I’m not nervous.” - The girl on the chair teases. _

_ “I’ll give you a scalpel, and tell you to open someone up and see how you feel.” _

_ “I’ll be sitting down there, just look down if you are nervous.” _

_ “Okay.” _

_ “Don’t overthink it. Just do it like you were doing with me.” _

_ \--END FLASHBACK-- _

Third of all, this doctor has just been all over social media this morning. Different news outlets confirmed that Tobin Heath is dating a beautiful and talented doctor. And this doctor was the same guest on the Health show last week where the soccer star randomly turned up.

Now everything makes sense why the entire place is filled with whisperings and curious looks. Especially after a woman who has been one of the faces for Portland Thorns turns up wearing a snapback with jeans and t-shirt, steps into the restaurant. 

\---

She isn’t famous or well-known but she is certainly recognized by many. Now whenever she goes to the store or shopping, she feels these looks from other people on her. Some whisper, some pretend like they don’t know who she is. It doesn’t really bother her because it doesn’t really change her life much. However, it did definitely change within her circle of friends or those who know her. Now to them, she is like a celebrity. No one in the hospital doesn’t know Christen Press, Tobin Heath’s significant other. She is still not sure if what they have done is a good or bad thing, especially her life now is attached to the name Tobin Heath. Though everything is happening as Tobin told her. There is only one thing that she didn’t expect to happen: Lindsey’s reaction. The one person Christen thought would actually be happy and excited turns out she was really mad when she found out. She hasn’t talked to Christen for a week.

One early morning, Christen is woken up by the knock at her door. She turns her head towards the window. The sky is still pitch black. Sometimes it would just be her in the apartment if Tobin had to go out for something. She does remember last night. Tobin was home and had dinner with her. Pulling herself up, Christen ties her hair up and walks to the door.

“What’s wrong?” - The lights outside make Christen squint her eyes. While she is half asleep, her girlfriend is fully awake and dressed. Tobin is in her workout clothes and on the phone with someone. 

“We’ll just leave it. It’s too late now. Yeah let me know what they say. I’ll talk to her.” - Tobin grabs Christen’s arm and takes her to the living room.

Once they both sit down on the couch, Tobin’s serious face makes her nervous. She quickly asks. “Babe, what’s so urgent? Is everything okay?”

Tobin gives her the phone. “Here read.” 

“It’s too late to stop now. It’s not one source but multiple sources. I think everyone knows already.” - Tobin says with a sign. Now Christen is awake, carefully reading every word on the phone.

“Well I guess there isn’t much we can do right? We can’t just keep hiding.” - Christen softly says.

“Can you stay home today?”

“No...I can’t take off just one day and tomorrow will just be the same babe.”

Later that morning, after a few minutes of going back and forth, Christen finally lets Tobin drive her to work. Not sure why she wants to drive her to work like that. Tobin just told her she wouldn’t say anything to confirm or deny but then she wants to help Christen bring all the boxes of documents up to her office. That basically confirms to the world that they are dating. Of course Christen doesn’t let her.

“Okay, do not move. Pop the trunk. If you step out, no cuddling for a week.”

“Okayyyy. I’ll pick you up later okay?”

“Didn’t you say you have physio this afternoon? Should have let me drive here.”

“Yep but I can still pick you up. Won’t let you go by yourself today.”

“Everything is fine. I gotta go. Your car is drawing too much attention.”

Christen steps out but doesn’t fully close the door. She takes everything out of the trunk that puts them on the step before turning around to get in the car once more to give her girlfriend a goodbye kiss. She cups Tobin’s face, pulls her forward for a quick peck and a “love you.” 

“Waiiittt why so fast?” - Tobin whines. She is just about to unbuckle her seatbelt.

Christen chuckles, uses her thumb to wipe off the lipstick on her girlfriend’s lips. She closes the door and waves for Tobin to drive. As soon as Christen walks into the lobby, she spots Lindsey waiting for the elevator. She is about to call for her but Lindsey turns around and walks straight inside without looking back. Christen is confused but then realizes she was too busy messing around with Tobin and forgetting the situation she is in now. 

Stepping into her office, Christen notices a cup of coffee on her desk but the person who bought it is nowhere to be found. It’s a thing between her and Lindsey. Lindsey would always get her a cup in the morning, then Christen would buy her one for the afternoon. Christen doesn’t think much of it until lunch time when Lindsey completely ignores her and Emily and goes sit at a different table. 

“What is going on with Lindsey?” - Christen asks, feeling that not only her friend is different today, but the entire cafeteria is also strange. Many people from the hospital have already been teasing her but she still has not heard from the two closest people to her yet. She doesn’t care much about other people but these people are important to her.

“So it’s you…” - Emily says gently.

“Yeah..” - Christen carefully says, feeling a little guilty. “I know I should have told you guys but honestly I was in a difficult situation.”

“She is mad at you. After reading the news this morning, she didn’t even want to go to work.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m just shocked and speechless. Lindsey was right. It was you. I mean you are from Jersey. Your girl drives the same car as Tobin Heath. When shit hit the fan last month, you looked like you lost your soul. And the girl in the pictures definitely looks like you.”

From that day on, Lindsey hasn’t talked to her, but it’s getting better. They are finally having lunch together. She finally listens to Christen’s explanation. She was mad because Christen told her that she didn’t know Tobin Heath. Christen has to explain that Tobin asked her to keep it a secret. Now thinking back, Lindsey thinks it’s a little funny just because she announced that she didn’t like whoever Tobin is dating and it turns out it’s the one person she admires the most, Christen Press. 

“Here...for you two.” - Christen hands two envelopes to Emily. One for Emily and one for Lindsey but since Lindsey is still not comfortable with her yet so she is hoping Emily can help.

“What is it?”

“Tickets to the Thorns game this weekend. VIP seats. The VW lover told me to give them to you two.” 

“Two?” - Emily then realizes there are two envelopes, one with Lindsey’s name on it. She turns to Lindsey who is on her phone. “ Yo, your idol invited you to a Thorns game.” - Christen chuckles.

“But why is hers thicker than mine?” - Emily asks.

“I don’t know. She did everything. I just deliver.” - Christen shrugs her shoulders. Of course she knows what it is.

Lindsey opens the envelope. Besides the ticket, there is also a letter, hand-written by Tobin Heath. 

\---

“Babe, have you found a place for me yet?” - Christen just suddenly remembers the real reason she is still living at Tobin’s place.

“Yep.” - Tobin casually answers unlike the last few times. Every time she asked her girlfriend, there was also a reason for it to not work out. Too far from work, not safe enough, too loud, etc...and then she didn’t like how they decorated the place. There’s nothing Tobin likes. Christen then said it would be her place, why would she have to be so picky. Therefore, Tobin’s answer surprises her. 

“How is it? You like it?” - Sitting down next to the soccer player on the couch after dinner.

“Yep, pretty close to the hospital.”

“Gated?”

“Yep, really safe.”

“In a good neighborhood?”

“Yep don’t worry. It won’t be noisy.”

“So you like the decoration this time?”

“Hmmm there were a few things but I told them to fix them already.”

Now that Christen is sure to ask all the things Tobin didn’t like about the other places, she continues - “So I finally have a new place?”

“Not yet, they are still building it.”

She slowly puts a piece of orange in her mouth, not being able to say anything else. Now the reason is they haven’t finished building it. Christen finds it quite funny because Tobin probably can’t find any other reason to let her go. But at least she knows she is having a new place. Soon.

“What’s so funny?” - Tobin shifts her focus from TV to the person sitting next to her who is chuckling. 

“Nothing. So how long is it going to be?”

“Probably 2-3 weeks, could be longer.”

“So this is for sure?”

“..Ah..yeah.”- Tobin pauses a little bit then nods. She turns off the TV, turns her body and puts her head on Christen’s lap.

\---

It’s been a while since Christen had a full day off like this. Tobin is still at training. All day, she cleans everything in the house, then takes a big nap in the afternoon before going out for some groceries. She’s had a busy week so she really appreciates a day like this. Tobin gets home when Christen is getting ready to make dinner. The soccer player is soaked from the heavy rain from outside.

“Why are you soaked?” - Christen asks curiously. It’s not like Tobin had to run home or something.

“I stopped to get some dessert for you.” - Tobin grins widely showing her girlfriend the dessert she bought from Christen’s new favorite place. While the bag is completely dry, Tobin is not. Christen doesn't know whether to yell at her silly girlfriend or pull her down for a makeout session. Because of her random text earlier ‘ _ craving Memoz.”  _ when Tobin asked ‘ _ what are you doing baby?” _

Tobin is good at showing her love through words AND actions. Everything she does makes Christen feel so lucky and happy. 

“You are an idiot. Go shower. Don’t get sick.” - Christen pulls her in for a quick kiss. The heavy rain continues for the entire night, they are not doing anything special, just simply be next to each other.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Kelly is coming.” - Christen says excitedly. They are now sitting on the couching eating some fruits. 

“Who?”- Tobin’s brows furrow. 

“Ah you probably don’t know her name but you know her as my lover. Remember now?” - Christen says with a teasing tone, looking down at the person who is laying on her lap.

“Ahhhhh. Your bestest friend. When? You have no idea how painful it was hearing those words coming out of Tyler’s mouth.” 

Christen lets out a chuckle and responds. “I knew it. I knew you really thought it was my real lover. You were an idiot back then.” Well now still but better.

“Idiot? What was I supposed to think? But when is she coming?”

“Probably the end of this month. She was going to stay with me but now I’m here so she said she would rent a place. But would my place be ready by then?”

“No no no.” - Tobin quickly says, trying to not think about Christen and Kelly being at the same place. “But why would she just get a hotel? Does she want to move here or something?”

“Nah she wants a long break and we haven’t seen each other for a long time so she is thinking of staying here for a bit. Like a month. She would be broke paying for the hotel.”

“Well, we haven’t rented out your old place anyway. Why doesn’t she just stay there? Saving some money.”

“Good point! I forgot about that. We just need to do some cleaning”

“But why does she have so much time? Does she have family?”

“She is her own boss. She can do whatever she wants. No family but I think she needs a break from her current relationship or something. That’s why she wants to stay here for a bit.”

“Tell me more.”

“About Kelly?” - Tobin nods. “ Well, We have known each other for a long time. Got really close at Stanford. She is kind of a free spirit. After we graduated, she decided to stay in California because it kinda fits her personality I guess. We keep in touch ever since. She is a very important person for me. And she is also really pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you.” - Tobin says then pulls her down for a peck. 

“Oh yeah for sure. That’s why we are best friends.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I just didn't feel like it to be honest. No excuse but here it is. One more chapter to go. Cheers!
> 
> Shout out to Google for some helpful information for this chapter.


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